The Dog Blog Experiment

Planting and Gardening

2009-06-03T19:49:00.019-05:00

Once winter moved on, we decided to try to spruce up the yard. We know that we'll never be able to grow grass; we don't get enough sun and it isn't sustainable over time so we are going to plant as many plants as we can.

We couldn't really afford to go out and buy plants but we had enough friendly neighbors, friends and co-workers that we got many donated plants. What we did spend money on was bricks to line the old planters. We got both red and tan bricks for both planters.

When we got them home we found that we had 72 tan and 24 red, 96 total. It just so happens that there are exactly 25 prime numbers between 0 and 96. So all of the red bricks are prime numbers in succession from 1-96. We were one short so we used one of our Butler Bricks.

Practical Math.

Of course, those pictures were taken in April. Here is what the planters look like today:

Stolen cactus/Pretty flowers

Much better even if it hides the math.

It is over; empty; finished

2009-01-21T09:29:00.004-06:00

I finally get to throw out one of the most frustrating gifts of all time:

When I got it last year, the countdown started at about 385. Some days it was painful; most days it was just annoying to have to be reminded of the ex-president everyday but I did because it made November 3rd and yesterday all that much sweeter. And now like it's subject will it be tossed out with the day's trash never to be seen again.

Twelve Dollars and Fifty Cents of Sweat

2009-01-08T18:16:00.003-06:00

After 10 years of collecting, starting with Delaware and ending today with Hawaii, M and I completed our commemorative book of statehood quarters.

The dogs were thrilled

The decade of hard searching ended when I found Hawaii in the till at work. I swapped Hawaii out for a duplicate Nebraska and filled the last hole in the non-archival, but quality crafted book.

Over the years I've been surprised at the odd interest that the book generated amongst our guests. If you'd like to see the book (with your eyes, not with your hands) and bask in its glory, our viewing schedule is anytime that we are at home and not sleeping.

Fun with leaves and dogs

2008-12-06T15:50:00.006-06:00

This is the first full weekend that I have had off in over a month. There is much to be done to get ready for the holidays but there is also football on. I am currently watching the Alabama-Florida game and is as good as the hype (Which is why I am blogging?).

M went out with friends to lunch...that was 4 hours ago. I told her I was going to spend the day watching football but then that inexplicable urge to organize happened. I reckon that may be I am in the profession I am in.

The yard has been piling up with leaves since they started falling in mid-October. So off I went and in a hour I had this:

UPDATE: Yes, there are dogs in these photos; click on the photo to see proof. Yes, we do need a better camera. We are accepting donations

Google Chrome

2008-09-01T21:38:00.004-05:00

Hey Mom, you like Google so much, they're coming out with a new browser.

Check it out, there is a comic book that goes with it explaining how it works and why it may be better than firefox (gasp!). Skip part two.

Should be on "Headlines"

2008-08-15T21:25:00.001-05:00

Gotta love the new Kerrville Library.

What I did on my Summer Vacation

2008-07-28T20:24:00.011-05:00

Three years ago we went down to South Padre Island with my family as we had the year before. We wanted to make it a tradition and we thought, "to hell with Hurricane Emily." Before hitting the Yucatan peninsula, Emily was a Category 5. By the time it hit SPI, it was barely a Category 1 Hurricane.

Everyone deserted the Island with the exception of us and some other fools. The fools won out that day as Emily came and went with some wind (matched by my Dad) and little damage. The rest of the vacation was great as were the huge waves generated by the storm.

This was Hurricane Emily before hitting SPI:

So this year we thought it would be even less so considering that Hurricane Dolly started out as a tropical storm BEFORE hitting the Yucatan. Obviously, we were wrong:

In case you can't tell, Dolly is tighter and more dense. You can look at the eye for scale.

Dolly stalled out in the Gulf some 30 miles off the coast and just sat there gaining strength and then moved in slowly as a Category 2. By that time, we didn't have power and didn't know enough to leave. We were also asleep at the time.

Here are some of the things we saw on our way off the Island after the storm had passed. The sun even came out for a bit that morning.

The Stripes will never be the same again. This happened to every single Stripes on the Island and every gas station that used the same tin, umbrella-like roof.

I've never seen a traffic light on the ground, it was big.

This was not the only power line pole that was snapped like this.

More power line poles. Electricity is not supposed to be restored to the Island for weeks. That is the only reason we left.

Don't let the light fool you, it had stopped raining by then. I was too hungover to worry much, but after we got passed the bridge, Port Isabel and State Highway 100 with no problems, we figured we were solid.

Sadly No!

US 83 was flooded in Weslaco, which is about 20 miles East of McAllen. To make matters worse, the dumbasses were turning traffic away into flooded frontage roads with no detour. Luckily, my parents, who were headin up this convoy, figured out that Business 83, which ran along the railroad would probably be safe so they tried that. Because of spotty cell phone reception, we didn't get the message for some time so we were 5 miles East of my parents. We drove through 2.5 feet floodwaters in our Toyota Camry with water splashing onto the windshield from slow moving school buses going the other way. That was the end of my hangover.

Today, I barely even remember the perfect 3 days we had before the storm came. Maybe better luck next year. Until then, I'll leave you with an image that will convince you never to take a dog to the beach (which we didn't do).

This is from our backyard.

Election Time

2008-06-25T22:02:00.002-05:00

Back in 2006 I couldn't peel myself away from the daily congressional polls. Now I'm obsessed with the constant presidential polling.

I'll put up those nice little prediction tabs some time in September when everyone is paying attention, but for now I'm going to go out on a limb and call the race for Obama.

Will this jinx it? If you are a self-loathing democrat maybe. Not me. I was optimistic as fuck throughout the summer of 2006 and I continue to be.

Add all of the states that Kerry won plus Iowa, New Mexico, and Colorado and that is the end of the race. Try it!

And guess what? Obama doesn't need Ohio or Florida...but they could sure seal the deal pretty quick along with the new swing states of Virginia, Indiana, Georgia, North Carolina, and Missouri.

House Photos with Dogs

2008-06-02T22:36:00.009-05:00

My brother and his family are coming in late June to see the house and he is going help me with some projects around the house. He has requested to see photos of the areas we'll be working on, so here they are.

Those two ugly ass cabinets are gone, along with the uneven mini-wall that they hang from. We'll attempt to replace them with those hook things that people hang pots and pans from. We'll keep that little butt there.

Next we'll put a new floor underneath the kitchen sink. At some point there was a leak in the sink and the previous owners just let it rot out the flooring underneath then some other jackasses put ill-fitting boards underneath. I'm not asking for perfection, just a stable place to put poisons and other cleaners from the tv. We'd like not to see this:

Finally, because our living room and laundry room are a converted garage, there are no vents for either room so they are both generally hotter than the rest of the house. I checked in the attic and the duct work is metal not that insulated wrapped stuff, whatever it's called.

The dogs seem to like their new home:

Some changes

2008-05-16T21:41:00.004-05:00

Little G in Big D made the point that we at this blog are also guilty of; making reference to how we never post in every post.

With that said, we are making some changes at our new house that will hopefully facilitate more blog posts in the future.

Now that the new house is painted and each room is a different color, we have moved on to the placement of furniture. We have a strange living room because the original living room is tiny and the garage was converted to add on to the living room so it is a bit odd looking.

Because the length of the converted garage prevents us from using the entire space as a living room (my bad eyes and a normal sized television), we are going to split the room into a "reading room" and a tv room with beads* separating the two. The reading room will have books, the desktop computer and a sitting space some day, maybe a bearskin rug* for the fireplace.

Just as every place we have ever lived, the new place is kinda...sub-par. I don't qite know how to be nice about it. It has potential and it is a relief to finally be able to do something about all of the minor things that need to be changed. I'd list them, but then I'd bore you. And don't worry, in person I won't talk about the house the same way that people talk about their first born child.

We hope to have the place ship-shape in time or the house-warming party. And when would this party be? We were hoping to have it sooner than later but many conspired to put it off on until July 12th. In chronological order, those preventing you, my friend, from enjoying a keg of beer later instead of sooner: M's family, the democrats, another previously scheduled house-warming party, my family, and finally America. See you then.

In the next post, we'll have photos of some of the minor work that my brother is going to help me with at the end of June so it will be ready for the party.

*No not really

Not our dogs, but worth a look

2008-03-28T11:20:00.003-05:00

This little one merits a link.

Sorry we've been skimping on the dog-centered posts. I promise pictures of Oscar and Felix getting used to their new house later this Spring.

m

A New House

2008-03-20T14:52:00.000-05:00

M and I bought a house today. We are looking forward to finally having a place big enough to have people other than my sister over. Because we actually bought an affordable house at a reasonable price, there are some things that have to be fixed.

Some professionally: new roof (which the seller agreed to pay), replacement of aluminum wiring with copper, and termite poisoning.

Some amateurly: new toilets, replacing the sliding glass door with a real backdoor, fixing a hole in the drywall in the laundry room, replacing the hideous ceiling fan and overhead light in the living room, replacing the cabinets.

And finally the stuff that we are recruiting volunteers for: painting!

In the future we hope to build a rainwater harvesting system as well as replacing the backyard grass with native plants and grasses.

Not all of these things will be done in time for the party in June, but we are hoping that you all can make it.

See previous post for picture.

Oscar Party

2008-02-27T23:17:00.004-06:00

So apparently not everyone goes to an Oscar Party to get drunk and make fun of people giving themselves awards. Did you know that the Academy Awards Show has won several Emmys. WTF? There were however two who were just too good to even watch the show. They were so rude, they just distracted everyone from the High Life and montages.

They did win an award though, for best picture:

Can't you just feel their anticipation?

In the House

2008-02-27T22:57:00.004-06:00

As I mentioned in a previous post (albeit in a subtle way), M and I are in the process of buying a house.

Here it is:

It's a good example of never say never. Before we moved out west and before we had dogs, I never wanted to own a house. Houses tie you down, they need constant maintenance, they can suck your entire weekend, it takes more than 10 minutes to clean them, you have to pay for it twice over, you have to pay the racket that is home owners insurance....BUT

You get your own yard, you can make the interior in your own image, you can have parties and not have to answer to anyone but your neighbors and possibly the police, you have a real kitchen, you can have house guests.....add whatever you'd like to.

The picture may or may not do the actual house justice depending on your feelings towards the author...i.e. that DM is an ass and that house is a piece; or I like DM and the house looks nice.

Party in June!!

Still busy

2008-02-22T16:48:00.002-06:00

So here is what has been going on.
I was about to settle into a routine when my schedule changed. Now I'm on the evenings and occasional weekends rotation. Sounds bad, but its good. It means that on Tuesdays I get to sleep in till about 10 and on the weekend that I work it means that the following weekend will be a 3 day weekend. Still taking the bus and have gotten used to getting up earlier and getting home later in our small attempt to save some money and simultaneously wean the US off foreign oil.

I wrote about myself first because M had it way better this week. She was a volunteer at the Clinton-Obama debate at UT yesterday. Her job was to hang in the "spin room" and watch the debate. After it was over, she held up signs with the names of several policy wonks so that the press could find them and ask them questions like: "Healthcare, good or bad? War, good or bad?"
She didn't get mentioned by name, but do you think you can find her?: http://www.statesman.com/ap/mediahub/media/slideshow/index.jsp?tId=81404

Tonight we're taking a page out of The Gay Place: going to a bar, then going to a university function where there will be more alcohol and possibly some fun, then maybe to the Obama rally at the Capital (Capitol?)

And if all this is exciting enough for you, there is this.

UPDATE: Didn't make it to the rally, but we did have fun!

Perils of the Profession

2008-02-12T20:07:00.001-06:00

I really the like the profession that I work in; cool people; cool material; public service; but one of the rarely talked about difficulties is what archivists are exposed to...

Later in life back problems; risk of mold inhalation. Those things aren't really that bad. What sticks in my mind long after I leave work are the disturbing images that come in some collections. Like today having to look through (and possibly have to scan later) photos taken from a particularly famous mass murder scene.

There have been other times that have been as bad or worse. It reminds me that real life is unavoidable no matter how what certain parenting segments of the population want to believe.

Busy Busy Busy

2008-02-12T18:15:00.002-06:00

I remember in early December chastising myself about how we never post anymore. There are 2 reasons: the draconian internet use policies of the City and I prefer to spend what time I have with Oscar, Felix, and/or M (not in that order).
I figured out how to get around the internet use policy by using the e-mail-post function. The other reason isn't going to change anytime soon. Not that it matters as this blog has been relegated back to a diary as we have most certainly lost whatever readership we once had.
No dog pictures, no readers.
We have done a lot over the past 2 months.

M got all As and I started a new job, one that actually requires me to work.
We traveled a total of 26 hours in the car going to Oklahoma and McAllen over the holidays.
We got involved in a community action group and I am an officer in a regional archives association.
We are currently looking for an affordable house to buy with a yard for the dogs and future creatures.

On Jobs

2007-12-07T13:09:00.000-06:00

Working is a large part of life. I find it bordering on criminal that I have to spend half of my life with people that do not go through the same rigorous vetting process that my friends and M went through. Sometimes you get extremely lucky and your co-workers become actual friends. For me that has rarely been the case. In all of my years of working, I have made one friend and he lives in Albany.

I grew up believing that because you spend so much of your life working, you'd better make sure that you like your job. I had the luxury of growing up middle class, so money was never a consideration when it came to employment (beyond being able to live, that is). Take money out of the equation and that opens the door to many professions like Archives.

Previously, I worked at an archives that I really enjoyed. I was there for 3 years before moving on and would have stayed longer had geographic circumstances been different. It was the perfect quirky, unique position. It was interesting and I had a lot of freedom to go in many different directions.

Then I had to move on and I moved on to a place that looked great on paper with a company that actually is pretty great. What should have tipped me off was the salary. It was way too high for an archives position. When the new car smell wore off I was left with a boring job, isolated into a cubicle. It was the exact job that I had worked so hard to avoid.

Why is he using the past tense?

Because I have moved on once again; this time to a job that I am confident will be "all that and a bag of chips." No longer a corporate archivist, now (and perhaps forever) a photo archivist (or photograph curator as my actual title reads). I'll be working with (and for) the public and again it looks like I may have freedom to decide on projects.

Finally I'll be working with other archivists instead of just e-mail responses from lists; disembodied advice and misunderstood questions.

2008 is indeed looking like it is going to be a great year.

On Recent Anniversaries

2007-12-05T14:25:00.000-06:00

Today is clear, cold and sunny. Sunny may be an understatement as it is the winter sun; and while being less effective than the summer sun, it's far more bright. It is that brightness, a rarity between cold fronts, that lends itself to nostalgia.

I remember a day like this some years back. I was at the Texas Renaissance Festival with some people whom I had only known for a month (and one who I had known since I was 11). I had never heard nor seen such a spectacle as the Festival. It was odd to say the least but I really enjoyed it. We all walked around a lot seeing the sights, window shopping, and seeing one of the shows and maybe the parade...maybe. I confess I really don't remember much about the Festival. What I do remember is the way the day felt and getting up the courage to hold a girl's hand.

That was November 15th, 1997.

Sometimes it seems like we are boring or "uncool" because we are in this unchanging, decade old relationship. For better or worse however, we are usually perceived as those happy weirdos that have been together forever.

I'm sure come next decade we'll still be those happy weirdos.

The AfterGlow - Sadly, No

2007-11-26T16:43:00.000-06:00

So UT lost this weekend and only half of the outcomes I wanted to see came to pass. Because Missouri will likely lose to Oklahoma in the Big 12 Championship, there probably won't be a Big 12 team in the Big Game.

So that is two in a row for A&M, but how many times has A&M beaten UT since there first game in 1894? I don't know, but you can find out at the Official UT football fan site. The site gives the dates and scores going back to the first game in 1893 where UT played Dallas U (which is not the University of Dallas). The following year UT won all but one game beating the Austin YMCA twice. UT would go on to win many more games, but here are some of the teams they lost to along the way:

Haskell 0-4 in 1904
University of Chicago 0-68 in 1904
Transylvania 0-6 in 1905
Vanderbilt 0-45 in 1906
Southwestern 9-11 in 1908
Notre Dame 7-30 in 1913
Baylor 3-7 in 1916
Rice 0-13 in 1917
Harvard 7-35 in 1931
Centenary 6-13 in 1932

There have also been stranger opponents defeated such as the Houston Town Team (1897), the Kansas City Medics (1900), and the School for the Deaf (1903).

And if you thought UT (or any team for that matter) got beat bad, check out this score: 222-0 .

Giving thanks...

2007-11-19T20:01:00.000-06:00

Though many may be under the impression that this coming week is about turkey vs. ham, cranberry sauce vs. real cranberries or giving thanks that your family doesn't suck vs. giving thanks that this holiday is only one day; it's not.

This coming week is about Texas vs. Texas A&M, Oklahoma vs. Oklahoma State, and the Dallas Cowboys vs. New York Jets. This week is also about a bunch of other football games. So that we can all remember which games are important enough to watch I offer up this handy schedule

Thanksgiving Day:

Dallas Cowboys vs. New York Jets
CBS
3:15pm
I pick Dallas to win, duh. The Jets have won 2 games and the only reason they aren't last in their division is because Miami hasn't won a game yet.

#11USC vs. #6Arizona State
ESPN
7pm
Americans don't much like monopolies and like most (except those living in southern california), I'm tired of seeing USC. I would like them to go away for a while and join the likes of Notre Dame(2-9), Miami(5-6), and Florida State(7-4).

Friday:

Texas vs. Texas A&M
ABC
2:30pm
The obnoxious Aggies really aren't any good this year, but UT has been inconsistent to say the least.

#19Boise St. vs. #15Hawaii
ESPN2
8pm
This should be a good game simply because Boise St. is in it. If anyone saw them play OU last season or saw them in the 4-OT, 69-67 win over Nevada this season, you know what I'm talking about. Hawaii is one of only two teams left that are undefeated this season and if they run the table, there will be much BCS hand-wringing (like every year).

Arkansas vs. #1LSU
CBS
3:30pm
I don't think this game will be any good, but it's been a strange year. LSU has already lost once and it would be interesting if they lost again.

Saturday:

#20Connecticut vs. #3West Virginia
?
11am
I'm just pissed because W. Virginia is ranked higher than Kansas despite losing to South Florida earlier in the year before all the South Florida hype. West Virginia is in it every year before choking in the final weeks of the season. So nuts to them.

Oklahoma vs. Oklahoma State
FSN
2:30pm
This is the Oklahoma version of the one-sided UT, A&M rivalry. One team desperately trying to garner attention over the other like those a-holes in the background of an on-location newscast. The difference being that A&M doesn't have a delusional Dickensian millionaire benefactor. A&M likely has millionaires donating also but probably to their academics rather than something as unimportant (in the grand scheme) as football.

#4Missouri vs. #2Kansas
ABC
7pm
This is the WTF game of the year. Who'd a thought these two would be this good and Nebraska would be so bad. I'm hoping Kansas wins just to fuck with the BCS standings. If they run the table and beat Missouri this week and (probably) Oklahoma the following week, will they get to play in the big game? Who knows. Its just as likely we'll see Ohio State and LSU which would be repeat of last year's blowout.

The Neglected

2007-11-15T16:09:00.000-06:00

So here is how it goes: you are tired from the day and just don't feel like unpacking that last box or you just don't have anything new to say to that pen pal from Kuala Lumpur. You'll do it tomorrow you say. But you don't do it tomorrow. You don't unpack the day after or the day after that. Soon its been a month and your pen pal has heard nothing.

Was there a military coup in the US, they wonder?
Maybe my friend from America was taken by a UFO like my Canadian girlfriend was. Maybe both.

Sadly, no. You aren't under house arrest by Kang or Kodos, it's simply that so much time has passed that the box has become a symbol of shame and the letter admonishes you as if it were alive like a character in the Brave Little Toaster.

Like the time you missed seeing Mr. T at the mall, you know you'll regret it if you continue to ignore your conscience. But you do it anyway and more time passes and then it comes to a breaking point.

You ask yourself, do you really want to be one of those people who just moves a box of crap from one residence to another; do you really want to let your pen pal, who could be washed away in a tidal wave at any time, believe that you have forgotten to write back. I thought you wanted to contradict what the international community thought of Americans.

So you suck it up and you unpack that box of sex toys, you write back to your Malaysian friend a lengthy treatise on the many types of sex toys and you finally get back to posting about your dogs on your neglected blog.

Yesterday was Oscar and Felixs' birthday. They are now two years old. Here is what they looked like back then. They haven't had much of an Autumn to speak of. I'm at work, M is at school. After five, I'm cleaning film for TAMI, or helping organize the Archivists of Central Texas regional association and M is still at school.

When I am home and its not dark, we play fetch in the backyard. That is there new favorite activity. I throw the ball and Felix will bring it back, then he'll go long and Oscar will stand in front of me and stare at the ball. The result is that Felix is always downfield when I throw the ball and thus he always gets it. It didn't work that way in Albany because there was always enough room for the much faster Oscar to make up time. So here I have to be strategic and fool Felix into going one way while I throw the ball the other so Oscar can occasionally get the ball. And what does he do when he gets it. He goes over to Felix and literally shoves the ball in Felix's face like the gracious winner he is.

In other birthday news, M and I are blowing off a party, seeing some old friends, and Gaelic Storm (h/t to Uncle Joe) to spend the weekend in north Texas to attend my niece's birthday party. She's turning 1. She's lucky she's cute.

Now that we've confronted our shame, we promise to have more content in the future...publish or perish.

Don't Get Outrage Fatigue

2007-09-28T12:34:00.000-05:00

Found this youtube video through various means today. I think there are three lessons one should take away from it.

1. You can never be outraged enough, there will always be something that will make you see red. If this doesn't, your soul has died and you are now cynical enough to be a hipster/music or movie critic.

2. Witness the power of archives interfacing with new user-driven content technologies or by its fancy term "Web 2.0."

3. Why would such a logical forthright assessment could so easily be overlooked ten years later by the very same person? It wasn't, he is simply George Costanza's take on the old lady from Titanic....he's just a liar.

To wit: Here is our current VPOTUS speaking in 1992 to some group called the Economic Club of Detroit (no doubt some sort of outfit that makes cheap head-hitting implements) on why the US didn't invade Baghdad after Arid Dust-Devil.

UPDATE: Upon a second look, you'll notice that in the context of today you can see that he believed it could be done but at the time had to obey the recommendations of the president (and those with cooler heads and bigger brains who were advising the president).

Give 'em hell, Barry!

2007-09-19T22:54:00.000-05:00

This is why I haven't completely given up on the news.

Also, our blog has been soundly beaten by a little white furball named Milo. His videos are priceless.

Goodbye, Meg

2007-09-07T13:41:00.000-05:00

We've just lost a treasure. She will be greatly missed.

Nightmares

2007-08-25T00:40:00.000-05:00

This photo is a confirmed fake, but still worth a look. Sweet dreams!

Bushisms of yester-year

2007-08-24T10:33:00.000-05:00

I ran across a Dan Quayle quote on my google page today and I noticed the striking similarity between him and the current oval office seat warmer.

If any one of you asked in 1988 what the world would be like if BushI died and Dan Quayle became president, I think we've had that answer for 6 years now.

A sampling:

"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child."

Indeed.

Interesting stuff from Gmail, and some comments on SPAM

2007-08-10T14:36:00.000-05:00

For a while now, I've been a bit irked at the seemingly constant stream of SPAM related publicity, most likely perpetrated by those whose entire existence must be ironic. Yes, SPAM (the luncheon meat, not the seductively literate class of e-mail) was once funny because of how disgusting it was, but after a festival*, millions of hits on google, and its endless tour on the sitcom circuit, its getting as tired as that "Whazzzup!" commercial from a couple of years ago.

Besides there is plenty of other bizarre food from a bygone era to idolize, just look here, or why not vienna sausages, or Deviled Ham**? The 1950s were full of disgusting crap. Why don't sardines get a festival? They could combine it into a Cat Fancy dual festival.

Speaking of disgusting crap, how about this, which was a web clip on my Gmail: Spam Fajitas!
WTF? I'll spare you all my diatribe (which I learned from dad) about how fajita is actually a cut of meat. I hate it when food is intellectually dishonest.

But it gets better. The "recipe" calls for salsa, but not just any salsa, its has to be from CHI CHI's, a "mexican" restaurant that I've only seen in Pennsylvania. Why don't I just put some mayo on some avocados and call it guacamole?

So I'll leave you all with this thought. If illegal immigration from the south is such a hugh problem, then how come Chi Chi's still exists? I don't think national security is worth bad mexican food, do you?

UPDATE: The Spam Fajitas must be a marketing scheme. Both Chi Chi's Salsa AND SPAM are owned by Hormel Foods!

UPDATE 2: As Uncle Joe mentions, Chi Chi's restaurant went out of business and good riddance! However, the above conspiracy still holds. Also I found out that if you are in the spam folder of you gmail, all of the web clips have to do with spam.

*Why Austin, why not Dollywood if they are really looking for irony?
**Which is actually pretty damn good sometimes.

The Flying Trapeze? Close.....

2007-07-24T16:57:00.000-05:00

We did fly though the air with the greatest of ease, but thankfully there were no trapezes!

D and I had quite an adventure recently for our 6th wedding anniversary. We drove out into the sticks to take a Canopy Tour through a grove of cypress trees. You may recognize this from an old dog blog post.

We took a series of zip lines and looked a little goofy wearing all of our gear, but we had a blast and highly recommend this to anyone willing to travel down 450 feet of cable way up in the air. (they do train you first)

Here's a shot of M coming down the line (take my word for it)

And here's D about to land on the platform.

Don't we look cool with all our gear on?

Yes we were this high in the trees, sometimes higher! And they encourage you to scream, look up, let go and even give you style points for a pose on the last zip.

Again, you should all do this!

CHUD, not CHUD

2007-07-19T09:27:00.000-05:00

Obviously, the Iraqis have never seen kidney pie or they'd know that man-eating badgers are not the scariest thing about the British.

The Daily Puppy

2007-07-09T16:50:00.000-05:00

Everyday on my Google page there is a little friend who cheers me up at work...if he/she is cute enough.

Today seemed to be exceptional enough to pass on. If you've never been, you should check out the Daily Puppy:

Finally here, like for realz

2007-06-24T21:30:00.000-05:00

Well, now that we've unpacked, had friends over, hosted overnight guests and even made improvements to the yard (barely) there's no excuse for not posting.

The dogs have adjusted well to the new house and have several new favorite activities, none of which involve fangs or snake venom, whew.

Here's one of their favorite ways to spend time.

Not a single living creature who dares to approach our house avoids detection. The boys have even figured out that they can run out the dog door and bark through the fence at anyone foolish enough to spend too much time in front of "their" house.

The dog door also provides another favorite activity: waiting for an unsuspecting bird or squirrel to enter the yard, then bursting through the dog door in a mad dash to seek and destroy any intruders into terrier territory. It's quite a sight, and I believe that the squirrels are just toying with the poor pups, evil bastards......

Here is Felix's new form of hunting, tennis balls. Since he can no longer hunt snakes and wabbits, he has learned to roll tennis balls under the couch and then stare at them longingly for hours. We think he was actually asleep in this shot, after a long bout with the out of reach ball. D has long since stopped fishing them out, since we saw him actually push one with his nose toward the bottom of the couch. Evil bastard.......

Finally, the boys have been meeting many new friends. We know A LOT of cat people, which has been interesting, especially for Felix who doesn't know when to give up and go looking for crumbs or empty laps.

The most exciting event for them was no doubt the 6th birthday party of Frida, the chihuahua. By night's end there were 14 dogs in attendance and our two had had enough and were climbing legs to get away from the madness. All in all, I don't think they minded the move once they adjusted and we have now engaged Oscar in a fence battle. He drew first blood by escaping into the neighbor's yard twice and we countered with a cinder block. He wasted no time finding a third chance into the yard and we answered back today with a trip to the hardware store for 24 feet of victory laid along the fence line. Your move, Oscie.

More soon, probably!

Attack of the young urban professionals

2007-06-15T13:35:00.000-05:00

It has been more than a month without a post from me (whoever that may be) and its been a very busy month. Like the last time, its Friday, but unlike last time, I actually have plans.

The largest noticeable difference between there and here was the sudden explosion of things to do. If I don't have a beer in my hand by 6pm nearly any day of the week, then I'm in the car on my way to put a beer in my hand. In four weeks, I've been to 3 happy hours, numerous get-togethers, and one dog birthday party.-----

The dog party was quite a site to behold. There were about 20 people at the party and 16 dogs. It was great! Felix and Oscar got overwhelmed by the end of the party, especially when two larger than usual labs bounded into the yard and slobbered on everyone and everything.

-----When I'm not drinking while unpacking, or watching the gay pride parade, I'm at work. Its strange, to say the least, going from a small museum environment to the marketing department of a technology corporation. The archival work is almost eerily similar but as they say, its the little things.

One of those things I never got used when I previously worked in a corporate-like environment was passing the same person in the hall not 30 seconds after passing them before. Do I ignore them? Do I say hi again? Most of the time, the decision is made for me and I'm left to puzzle after the next time. Then there is the fact that I'm the only one who seems to look other in the eye...and it seems to make people uncomfortable. I kinda like that part.

I'm also the only one who makes a lunch in the break room. And I've found that lunch, as a meal, is highly overrated. I really don't mind eating at my desk and it means that if I want to leave a little early, I can. Or if I want to go out and take an hour and half for lunch, I can do that also.

I do miss being able to sing, play music, burp, and fart as loudly as I please. I guess I could do that here, but not for long. Though I did forget how rich music sounds when played through headphones.

The house that we rent, though conveniently located, is too small for our needs, so I've been building shelves all over the place. That's what I do in the evenings. We strategies on how to make more space and try to unpack more boxes. At least we have a garage. My drum set ended up at the homebase of HN. I've yet to play it though as we are trying to soundproof their garage.

That's all my lunch break allows for today. Whenever we get all of the unpacking and decorating done, we'll post pictures.

Another Semantic Debate

2007-05-22T21:20:00.000-05:00

As I sit surrounded by boxes, trying to keep some semblance of sanity in my last few days in small town *&^%, I can't seem to come to a conclusion about something. Maybe you can help me figure this out.

D & I have discovered we know a man that has a history of marrying rich women, spending every cent they own, then filing for divorce. He's on wife #3 right now, and has an impressively expensive hobby at the moment. We shall see.......

Anyway, D suddenly realized not too long ago that "Holy shit, he's a gigolo!"

Is he really?

I always thought that gigolos were male prostitutes, not patient opportunists that stick around for a few years to really leech off a rich wife.

What do you think? I checked out the definition of gigolo on Wikipedia and learned more than I ever wanted to about male prostitution. But if language is really what we make of it, then this calls for a better source that one web site.

What is a gigolo? A straight up prostitute, or something slightly more......creepy. If this man is a gigolo, then what do you call a plain old male prostitute? What does gigolo mean?

There's not much to do out here but work and pack, so please let me know what you think.

The Last Hour

2007-05-11T15:20:00.000-05:00

Though not as depressing as the Elliott Smith song by the same title, sitting here at my desk with an hour to go on my last day of work here makes me sad.

I really liked my job. It was everything that graduate school had promised me and yet had that down-to-earth quality that I like in all of my endeavors. The public, the staff, all of the stakeholders were grateful and appreciative even if they didn't always quite understand what I did. I had the kind of support that is rare in any library or archives situation regardless of size of institution or budget.

It wasn't always perfect. I'm sure none of you have cleaned 100 years of dust and rat poop to get the goods, but in the end I leave square. The Archives are better off than when I started and I got an alleged "kick ass" job.

So have any of you out there ever left a job you didn't really want to? I'll say that I know of one person who did and she did it for me 3 years ago and I'll always be grateful to her.

I realize that I'm in the minority here and may not get any responses, but have at it.

Its Friday?!

2007-05-04T15:47:00.000-05:00

Did you know that today is Friday?! (That handy little exclamation point indicates sarcastic shock)

It really doesn't feel like a Friday. It feels like just another day as my highly structured, highly routinized life melts like the molecular bonds of butter between a grilled cheese sandwich and a hot teflon pan.

Of course these aren't really problems; how could I dare complain when the future was initiated by us and miraculously worked out perfectly?

The stress really originates from the struggle to keep a routine as our life slowly changes. It's as if we're peeing in our space suit as we wait to get clearance to take off. We'll wait another 18 days and then in a matter of hours our lives will be so different, our dogs will barf.

In the meantime, we'll indulge ourselves with Little Caesar's Pizza, crisp cool dry morning air, drumming without fear, and playing my tunes as loud as I want at work.

Of course, this is how I feel this week. Next week will be totally different. As Jerry Seinfeld explains it:

"When you're moving your whole world becomes boxes. That's all you think about is boxes. Boxes, where are there boxes? You just wander down the street going in and out of stores. Are there boxes here? Have you seen any boxes? I mean it's all you think about. You can't even talk to people because you can't concentrate. Shut up I'm looking for boxes. Just after a while you become like really into it you can smell them. You walk into a store. There's boxes here. Don't tell me you don't have boxes. Dammit, I can SMELL them."

The Truth Comes Out

2007-04-26T21:07:00.000-05:00

M here:

I must confess a pet peeve. I hate it when people insist on being an expert (guilty party, right here) when they are CLEARLY wrong. (did I mention I'm guilty?)

I've been involved in arguments about many things and end up being correct on rare occasions. Tonight an old argument came to mind and I actually got off my duff and investigated the truth.

I blame a Seinfeld episode for the overwhelming misunderstanding in the meaning of the "Good Samaritan Law" but D insists Seinfeld's not to blame. (I'll let that one go) In this argument once upon a time, I insisted that the law is meant to protect (from lawsuits) bystanders providing aid to someone and my tenacious opponent insisted that the law required bystanders to provide aid after an accident/injury. As the expert of the entire world, I knew I was correct, but gave up in the face of a stubborn adversary, which I need to stop doing if I'm going to go into government soon! Anyway, here's the explanation for anyone interested in my hangups! (and I even learned more about it while proving my point)

I was actually correct in my interpretation of the law (in our country, anyway). Holy shit! I just had to share a teeny victory with anyone who's read this far into my whining.

So the next time you're arguing some obscure law with someone, stand your ground. You might just be right!

And so my mind has moved.....

2007-04-12T14:25:00.000-05:00

Been sitting here trying as best as I can to work. Its difficult when my mind has already moved back to Austin. I feel like I'm standing at the edge of a cliff, ready to jump when, in fact, the cliff is still 20 miles down the road.

I know many of you out there have been in this very same situation, but what to do? Maybe I should start drinking coffee...alot of coffee. 2 months have never seemed like such a long time.

Why couldn't grad school have lasted longer?

The experiment is what?

2007-04-11T16:11:00.000-05:00

The experiment is over. No, not the dog one, the rural life experiment. M and I moved for one reason: so that I could gain the experience needed to someday return to Austin with a decent paying job.

The experiment is over.
Now, I can get to appreciating all of what I'm going to miss about ranch life: I'm going to miss the snakes and spiders (mo' poisonous, mo' better), the scorpions, the myriad of bugs, beetles, grasshoppers, walking sticks, mantids, bees, wasps, lizards, hawks, owls, kites, moo cows, horses, coyotes, road runners, the view, the storms,the stars!, moonlit nights you could read a book they were so bright, quietude, drumming whenever I pleased, peeing in the middle of the yard, moonless nights do dark you couldn't see your hand unless it was silhouetted against the stars, that one eclipse of the moon, our yard, our veterinarian, the cheap rent. I guess there is more than I thought I'd miss.

The experiment is over.
Essentially, it is the other 15 hours of the day where the liabilities of small town "come to light" (in the parlance of our times). More for M than me. I actually really like my job. Our collective "beef" with this town are many and they have been documented. But not here...this is a celebratory post.

The experiment is over
Now it is time to pay back what I owe. M supported me when I was unemploy(able?)ed and when I was in grad school. And then I asked her to pick up and move from a job that she liked. All for me. Well now its my turn. The risk was worth it as my remuneration will be enough to support M while she takes her sabbatical from reality. We'll be looking for housing now; housing with a yard, a spare bedroom, quiet neighbors, all for under $1000. Hey, it could happen.

The experiment is over.
Moving time has come. If anyone is interested in helping, we'll likely do it May 26th or June 2. Keep those dates in mind. Dinner and beer on us.

The blog may change form in the coming months to punctuate the change, but we'll keep the name.

In case I haven't been clear, I did get that job that I interviewed for last week. And just in time. Yea!

Who's the Badass?

2007-03-20T16:14:00.000-05:00

M is the badass.

Why? Because not only did she get into graduate school, but she got a fellowship that will pay for tuition for the whole 2 years (and then some)! Glad to see that UT believes what we all knew to be true long ago about M.

Call, e-mail or leave comments below!

Full disclosure: This is all D on this post.

Moonwalking

2007-03-07T11:12:00.000-06:00

Tuesday night, M and I happen to catch the 25th anniversary clip show of Nature on PBS. Since I've probably only seen like 10 episodes over the years, all of the clips were new to me. And all of the were the best of the best from Nature. Some, like the clip below were simply amazing. Others were gruesomely real, and the clip from their show on the pet situation in the aftermath of Katrina was near impossible to watch.

The anniversary show is living proof that PBS can still produce TV that is worth watching and far better than anything on network or cable.

Enjoy!

The clip is about the mating behavior of these little birds called Manakids. The woman in the clip is describing their mating ritual.

The Mansion, The Bodies, The Greatest

2007-02-20T10:45:00.000-06:00

This past weekend, M and I visited my sister up in Denton. Her and 3 friends somehow managed to rent this huge 4 bedroom house that has a garage, a huge living room, and a huge gameroom on the second floor, and a heart-shaped hot tub in the master bedroom. Swank! Rent is $1600 per month. Get the fuck out, you say? No its true and in classic irony the best party house ever is rented by people who know better.

On Saturday, we went to see the Body Worlds exhibit at the Museum of Nature and Science at Fair Park in Dallas. It was not as creepy as you'd imagine. The only part of the bodies that retained any humanity was their finger and toe nails. The exhibit was very informative and really made you want to keep healthy. Other than the bodies that were splayed in various positions, there were also diseased lungs, livers, kidneys, and hearts. There was a aortic aneurysm the size of a tangerine. Totally cool!

We also visited my brother and his wife and their 3 month old daughter. She was cute and had a very amiable personality. She also made a lot of faces, some of them were a reaction to me, some to poop.

Later that night we went and hung out at a smoky bar with my sister and her friends and the Booklahver, who I remembered lived nearby. Though I'm sure to be the only one to have nostalgia for the noxious cloud that hung just above our heads but just below the televisions, taken in small doses I really do miss that unhealthy bar scene. I'm sure in the future it will be looked at with as much disdain as smoking during trial, in the cockpit, or in the cock pit.

Interspersed through our activities and the eating of fine cuisine was the greatest sandwich every made. It had been calling to me for several weeks, but when my sister told me that the hype was true, I had to have it. Yes, I'm talking about Whataburger's Honey BBQ Chicken Strip Sandwich. Since I don't work for them, I won't urge you to get one (especially since it has 1110 calories), but it is a damn good sandwich to enjoy every once in a while. However, because it is "here for a limited time only," it kinda makes me want to go on a Ribwich-style tour.

BTW, M got into grad school!
If you haven't e-mailed her to congratulate her, you have until June!

I love Texas Weather

2007-02-01T13:33:00.000-06:00

Why?

Because on a day that the weather-predicting-internets predict a high somewhere in the 40s with A.M. showers it can still snow.

Only in Texas!

To Watch or Not Watch

2007-01-23T10:18:00.001-06:00

Wanna get drunk on a weekday?
Wanna get drunk on a weekday for a reason this time?
Wanna watch the State of the Union address tonight?

Nah, me neither, but I did find this cool drinking game for those that want to simultaneously vomit in terror and vomit from Tito's.

And for the responsible set, BINGO!

Update on Camping 2007

2007-01-18T09:33:00.000-06:00

For the first time ever, I've actually gotten responses from ya'll before March. Yea you, you are indeed the Person of the Year.

So mark your calendars:

April 20-22

Pedernales Falls

As in past years, M and I will reserve two sites and get there early Friday to get the best sites.

Camping 2007

2007-01-11T13:53:00.000-06:00

You know, I never noticed that the year coincided with the number of times we've been doing this camping thing.

Since it has been established that the arch-camper Mel-a-rific will indeed be in the country* for camping this year, we again try in vain to get an early consensus on where and when.

When: The weekends of April 14, 21, 28 look best so far. Weekend of April 7 is Easter, so that's a no go. We could do it earlier, but some people don't like to be cold.

Where: I heard a lot of talk for a place near Austin for this year, so here are the only two real choices:

Pedernales Falls (which gets my first place vote)
McKinney Falls

Then there is also the nearby places we've already been:
Enchanted Rock (drive-up this time, I swear)
Inks Lake (this time without everyones favorite jester)

There is also a more comprehensive list of the camping spots in Central Texas

And of course if anyone knows of any private (but cheap) campsites, speak up!

So please leave comments here as to your preferences. And please send this post to as many people as you'd like.

*This will be Mel-a-rifics last year camping with us as she is going to be stationed in the Philippines with the Peace Corp for the next 2 years

The Holidays are over.....now what?

2007-01-05T22:14:00.000-06:00

Something for the winter blues.

(turn on your speakers)

Oscar and his new napping partner Rocko.

Saw these rib cage clouds on the LONG trip back from McAllen.

But Felix just couldn't take it.

The Pros and Cons of livin in the stix

2006-12-18T21:20:00.000-06:00

About 2 months ago, the drain in our bathtub started to drain slowly. We didn't think much of it at the time because this sort of thing happens to people with hair. Gradually, it just kept getting worse until it came to a head this weekend when it stopped draining all together: "it stopped draining," they all said.

We had tried "Drain-Oh" earlier, but it didn't work and so I thought that is was just some massive clog that needed a roto-rooter. So we bought one, its called snake and really all it is is a flexible but strong metal cable. We got 15 feet of it down the drain without hitting the clog.

Some clog, eh!

So as a last ditch effort, we bought some heavy duty sulfuric acid-based (pardon the pun) drain cleaner.

Foul smelling, scary bubbling, visible vapors, and it was brown.

Megan just happen to be outside with the dogs when she saw a brown bubblin' brew and an impending environmental disaster.

This is the crack in the drain pipe where the water had been draining into our yard. I went online and read how to clean up the mess safely and went about shoveling up the contaminated mud, all whilst it hissed at me. Have you ever had mud hiss at you?!

So I called our neighbor and told him that I believe there was a crack in the drain pipe and he concurred and fixed it today. Today?! That would never ever happen in the city. In Austin, we'd have to call Stern Lecture plumbing or some such place and actually pay for someone to fix it.

----------

We got a snow day 2 weeks ago. Enjoy!

Are they holding hands out of mutual love, or fear?

A collage of the snow day.

Felix REALLY likes that guy from MythBusters.

One down one to go*

2006-12-13T09:06:00.000-06:00

For the many of you who didn't know that the midterm elections weren't/aren't yet over, there was a runoff last night in TX-23 Congressional District. TX-23 which was gerrymandering in 2002 was found to violate the Voting Rights Act by diluting the Hispanic vote. Last night Democrat Ciro Rodriguez beat 7 term incumbent Republican Henry Bonilla. Bonilla was the only hispanic Republican in Congress and I was glad to return purity to the Great White Party, not to be confused with the Great White Party

*FL-13 is still up in the air after voting machine error or ballot layout error resulted in a loss of 18,000 votes in a race that was decided by less than 400 votes. And no, of course there is no paper trail for these machines.

I got nuthin'...or some ramblings*

2006-12-11T18:38:00.000-06:00

Hello readers!

Its almost Christmas time and perhaps I will fill all of you out there in on what is in store for this household come the New Year.

A certain D of DM recently applied for a job in Austin, and for the first time in perhaps my entire life, I am really (perhaps stupidly) optimistic about this job prospect. I applied mid-november and will likely know for sure (post interview) around late-january, early february. It means all kinds a complicated shit if I do get what comes the closest to my "dream job." Complicated, but exciting. Complicated for instance in that we would need to find a house with a yard on a UT bus route. Since the content of the job would not likely excite anyone reading, the context is that I would work in the same building that M attends class. How badass would that be?

M should find out about grad school in late-february. She sent off her application materials last friday and is finally done with the application process.

*If this post feels somewhat halting and broken in its prose, that is because of a failed/sucessful experiment using V8 as the base for a bloody mary. Yes, Mom, I know its Monday.

Keeping the above in mind, I don't (necessarily) want to alienate our reader base (whatever that may be), but the dogs are grown and M doesn't want to dress them so I'm finding it harder to justify posts dedicated to them.

I told T of HN recently that I wanted to have less politics at the site, but stuff like this just can't be ignored, so I think that the blog will probably become less about the dogs over time and more about whatever kinda crap me or M want to post.

But not so fast....

This photo, courtesy of M is like a Gerry photo if he covered dog shows (which may happen if he doesn't watch his mouth).

I made the top %10!

2006-11-17T16:19:00.000-06:00

Hey everyone. As many of you know, I was a full on Election 2006 political junkie. I really got into reading about the "hot" races and reading the polls daily. I even printed out a list of the races and put checks and minuses next to those that I thought would win and lose. On Election Night, I had both a blue and red Sharpe to mark the returns.

Two days before election night, I entered the Predict06 online pool as a member of Swing State Project and made my predictions. Some of you may remember that post.*

I didn't win the pool, but when I checked back today, they had posted a list of the top 50 best prognosticators in the Swing State Project pool. I came in 17th out of the 171 members! I came in 25th overall out of the 2313 who participated.

*If you have the stomach for it, you can visit the anonymous detractor who also left their predictions in the comments.

Happy Birthday Felix & Oscar!

2006-11-14T21:22:00.000-06:00

Felix and Oscar are 1 today. They got extra hugs and chased around a moth. It doesn't get much better than that.

Oscar and Felix last Tuesday: Stalwarts of Democracy

For the Nature Lovers

2006-11-06T17:19:00.000-06:00

Today, I did something that I've wanted to do since we moved here:

I hiked up the hill that majestically pokes outta the ground in back of our house. It looks far, but its not. It's also not a plateau as it appears. Its actually a ridge the rings another small valley. The day was perfect for hiking. 65, cold wind, and no snakes. Here is what it looks like from the top.

The arrow indicates where our house is. Click on it to see more clearly.

I also found some lovely brain poop, possibly a relative of brain corral.

One last political post before the big day

2006-11-06T17:13:00.000-06:00

Besides the principle reasons that I don't vote republican, there are the dirty tricks that republicans employ that compel me to donate both time and money to the opposition party. (And no, the shit they pull in the link above is NOT something that both sides do, you cynic, you.)

For you political junkies out there, you can make your own predictions about the House and Senate races over at Swing State. I've made mine. The winner of this multiple person pool gets a free massage, some meth, and some inappropriate sexual conduct.

Also check out HN's recent post about Election Day.

Oh, and by the way, VOTE!

Take time to remember

2006-10-26T15:21:00.000-05:00

This post is not about politics, snakes, or dogs. Its about a restaurant.

As first reported by KB, the Country Omelette burned down this morning. When I was a kid, a finicky kid, we'd have our occasional family breakfasts at the Country Omelette. If it was close enough to 11, I could get a hamburger. If not, pancakes. I would stack the jelly like most kids do, or I'd take a trip to the bathroom staring at all the white people (the most I'd ever see in any given week otherwise) and the large landscape photos of places in Europe used mostly to cover the walls than to advertise any particular place.

The Country Omelette was also where, after ordering a hamburger at 11am, I first heard the story of my parents first date. They met in Dallas. My dad, like many people loves breakfast, so he assumed my mom did too. He took her to what he says was one of the best places in Dallas for breakfast. They arrive at around 10am, and she orders...a hamburger.

The Country Omelette would probably be considered a dive if not for its huge windows in every booth. It had a bar, booths, and tables, a permanent salad bar with those mini-cereal boxes that seem only to exist in restaurants. It also had not changed since it opened in the late 1970s, hence it had brown shag carpet and fake wood paneling that had faded to a derby brown.

The best part though was that on our way out I could get an Andes Candy, which you could only get there and no where else, ever.

So, RIP to the Country Omelette of my childhood, I had only good memories of thee.

Some if not all of you out there in the tubes must have a similar family eatery that you remember from childhood, so take some time to remember and lets hear about it. You too lurkers!

Special Guest T from HN on Voting

2006-10-25T09:48:00.000-05:00

Hello all, this is a cross post from from HN :

Voting

Are you registered to vote? Are you going to vote? Do you know where you can find out who is running in your district?
If you're not registered to vote, take 5 minutes out of your day today and fill out your voter registration card. It's ridiculously easy. You're too late to vote in the Nov 7th election, but you can vote in the next one!
If you're not going to vote, you're basically throwing away your one chance to change how things are done around your city, your county, your state, etc. Besides, if you don't vote, you can't complain about how shitty things are. And, man, things are shitty. Have you been paying attention?
If you want to find out who is running for office in your district, check out this website. Or this one. Make informed decisions in the voting booth. Your future depends on it.
So get to it, Gentle Readers! Woot!

brought to you by tiny robot on 10/25/2006

Good news, Bad news, you pick

2006-10-12T11:19:00.000-05:00

While trolling the partisan blogs today, I came across the answer to a question that I have had in my mind for the past couple of years: Are Bush (personally) and his administration really fundamentalists? Do they really believe the words that come out of their mouths or the words they distribute in press releases?

Sadly (or happily?), the answer is what my parents have always cynically suspected: No.

According to a new book written by David Kuo, who was the number two guy at the Office of Faith Based initiatives, the Bush Administration has been using fundamentalist evangelical Christians for their vote much like you'd use a bludgeon to club a baby seal.

So both sides get their comeuppance and prove my parents right: The fundamentalists didn't get to turn their narrow view of morality into U.S. law (at least not on the federal level), the Administration is tagged as a bunch of phonies, and it becomes clear that their agenda really is to make as much money possible for themselves and their loyalists. Move over Ulysses S. Grant.

Katy Blogs

2006-10-08T20:35:00.000-05:00

So you think you have too many blogs to read? Well too bad because here is one more to add. My sister has started a blog and though her updates are about as frequent as Midwest or BBQ, there they are. Some of you out there may have met my sister before. Some have not, but perhaps all have heard the oft told story of how she drove a bunch of drunken college students home from a party.

The party was at Midwest's old apartment and for some reason Katy was in town and for some other reason I took her to this party. Even though she was 15 and had a learners permit, we had no intention of letting her drive.

As the party progressed, someone, lets call her Margaret needed a ride home. I volunteered, but was told that I could not drive. M also decided she could not drive, so we volunteered Katy to drive. Why not?* Its legal, she has a learners permit, so the four of us along with Mel-a-rific and possibly someone else piled into the car and we were off. We let Margaret sit up front so she could direct....I confess this story is not as good as it should be as all I remember of the trip was the car lurching across 26th street into the left lane of a residential street as another likely drunk vehicle was coming at us in the proper lane. Scream, scream, scream and we were all sober. After dropping off Margaret (if that is her real name), M took over.

Truthfully, it was not Katy's fault that she so unprepared for the Austin streets at 15, but we still never let her forget it.

*Later it was revealed that Mel-a-rific had given Katy at least 2 beers sometime during the party.

The limited appeal post

2006-10-05T14:26:00.000-05:00

For those librarians out there, our registrar turned me on to this novel way of presenting the book online. In this case, an auction catalog. I'll be forwarding this on to the listservs later.

Just for fun!

For the Simpsons Fans

2006-10-03T14:22:00.000-05:00

This caught my eye as I was looking for an obituary for a patron. Enjoy.

Ol' Grimey was older then I thought.

2006-09-27T18:47:00.000-05:00

Back to our roots.....dog pictures!

But we can't let the snake thing go entirely! Earlier this week, D found an impressive snake skin in our yard.

We admired it, identified it in a handy snake book (purchased once we moved out here) and then threw it to the dogs. They love weird smelling shit. I tried to get a close shot of Oscar with some skin hanging from his mouth, but just as I snapped the picture, he went after a moth that flew by. Cute, huh?

And just for fun, here are a few pics from our trek to ACL two weeks ago. It was less hot this year, but somehow way more brutal. We had a great time, though.

As we surveyed the two large parking lots filled with overflowing bikeracks at ACL, D sighed and said "Only in Austin." We're coming back, Austin! We promise!

You too can be politically savvy, or get yelled at

2006-09-26T16:47:00.000-05:00

At the risk of this blog becoming more political and less dog, I offer up the following:

First, If you are a non-republican of any stripe and are at all interested in the coming mid-term elections but you just don't want to wade through all of the bullshit to get at the information, some nut has put together Electoral Vote.com, a non-partisan (as far as I can tell) website that breaks down every contested senate and house race. There is polling data for each race and for the most part, the polls are very encouraging. For those of us in Texas, we can at least live vicariously through other states, such as Pennsylvania who will soon have a new Senator.

Second, if you have a fast internet connection, you dislike Fox News, you disliked Path to 9/11 so much you didn't watch it, you love (or at least miss) Bill Clinton, and your tired of seeing politicians give lame answers to stupid questions, enjoy this two part interview:

Stephen Colbert will die soon

2006-09-14T10:32:00.000-05:00

Perhaps you all have heard of Stephen Colbert's gig at the White House Press Corps Dinner thingy, I know that I had, but I realized that it may be on youtube.

I have never seen anyone with a bigger set of balls than Colbert. Its so scary to watch, yet you can't turn away. Its like his show but in front of the people he makes fun of in his show. Its brutal, he even makes fun of the reporters in the audience. Its actual real satire. If you have a fast connection, you should watch.

I sincerely hope that Ann Richards got to see this before she died. RIP the real tough grandma.

2006-09-04T13:18:00.000-05:00

No way......

The Crocodile Hunter died!

OK, D and I are currently debating the surprise factor of this bizarre piece of news. I'm honestly a little surprised and he's.....not. Not even a tiny bit.

I guess I just thought that this guy has done crazy stunts for so long and built an entire empire around his wacky ways that he was really being more careful than it seemed. The man is a father! Was I sucked in by the sur-reality of TV? Though I only saw this guy when I accidentally stumbled upon his show, I always got the impression that it was as much a nature show as an act. I mean there is so little authenticity in TV that I had no reason to think otherwise, right? It always seemed so put on and over the top that it never occurred to me that this guy was really just betting on the idea that a thick layer of stupidity provides some sort of protection from the laws of nature. (I suppose that's possible, seeing as Bush not only survived childhood, he lived to graduate college! Darwin be damned!)

Anyway, I just thought I'd throw that out there. Am I alone in my rose-colored view of TV? Has grim reality finally taken over, leaving behind that childhood revelation that the blood on screen was only red goo?

Just for fun.

2006-08-31T18:19:00.000-05:00

P.S. to previous snake post:

You haven't lived until you pick up a dead snake with salad tongs and fling it over your fence at 6:30 in the morning while wearing a bathrobe. With a towel on your head. With no shoes.

Try it.

2006-08-31T09:57:00.000-05:00

If anyone has been listening, reading, or (god forbid) watching the news, you may know that the administration has been likening itself to Winston Churchill and the terrorists to the Nazis, claiming that the US is fighting to stop a growing tide of Islamic fascism. In this story from NPR, Rumsfeld claims this in earnest.

An unusually decent editorial from Keith Olberman*, a talking head from TVland, sums up my outrage and disgust. Read it, because if you have become complacent and apathetic to the constant barrage of bullshit coming from the WH, this will whip you back into a froth just in time to get out and vote.

P.S. We did kill the snake that just recently bit Felix.

*and yes, I understand the irony of this contrasted with my parenthetical comment earlier

Just for fun.

2006-08-29T20:02:00.000-05:00

Worst. Parents. Ever.

Well, we have a hunting dog. Since May 23rd, Felix has been bitten by a rattlesnake (in the damn yard) three times. 3! He must be hunting them every time we let him outside even for two minutes! Oscar seems to steer clear. Or maybe Felix is the bodyguard. (can you hear Whitney in the background?)

What is wrong with us? If they had pet protective services we'd be in big trouble. We'd have supervised visits with the dogs and would probably be demoted to taking care of house plants or sea monkeys. Look out aloe vera plants and pet fish, I'm incapable if taking care of a 15 pound dog. You're next!

Here's Felix last week after recovering from snake bite #2. Yes, last week.......

Notice his slim little nose.

And this evening with his venom goiter and nice fat nose.
I think we will single-handedly breed the dog super flu with all the antibiotics that Felix has taken in the past two weeks.

Oh, and to any potential visiting friends or family.....we have only accidentally stumbled upon a rattlesnake once in over two years and it didn't even open it's eyes. So please don't think that Samuel L. Jackson lives here and battles snakes day in and day out. Felix just has a knack for finding them.

2006-08-25T08:10:00.000-05:00

Remember when I posted those two pictures of Oscar and Felix sleeping in their bed to show how much they had grown in one month? Well, here are those pictures plus one recent photo. We are sure this time that they are done growing.

Jan 2006

Feb 2006

Today
I had to make them sit in their bed as you can see that they have obviously outgrown it.

2006-08-20T21:33:00.000-05:00

As many of you out there in Tvland may know, those turds at UT finally caught on after nearly two years that I am no longer a student have shut down my e-mail address. It was my primary for 7 years and it was a conduit through which the trivial and inappropriate could safely find their way without the threat of jeopardizing my employment.

So what have we been doing since our last real post about Kinky Friedman, who continues to claim victory in poll after poll in Texas:

Today, we heard the Johnny Cash version of "Hurt" by Nine Inch Nails in the grocery store today. For those who know us or have been to our local grocery store, it would be an understatement to say that it was surreal to hear that song. It is also the second time in 2 years that we have heard a decent song at the grocery store (The first was MacArthur Park)

Stupid-ass Felix, seen below jumping for joy at hearing that Mars is bringing back the light brown M&M*, got bit by a second rattlesnake that was promptly run over by the ranch foreman the next day. This time was not nearly as scary as both dogs have been vaccinated for rattlesnake venom. He was fine after about 2 hours, back to his stupid self.

My sister and Adam came to visit while M was in Chicago visiting her sister. I made crafts, we had some really bad mexican food (really bad), bought 36 Miller High-Lifes (which I just finished off this past week), and one of them ate my peanut butter cups. Both deny it, but one of them had to have eaten it. I know I didn't.

Speaking of missing things, (if I didn't have a fish, then why did I have the bowl, Bart, why did I have the bowl?) I have been watching the 8th season of the Simpsons this week. Its a good season but there are parts that indicate the oncoming slow death of a show that went from beloved to unwatchable.

This past week, I got another write up in the local weekly newspaper. Only here can you make it into a newspaper by doing your job.

M took the GRE and did well, so this grad school thing is not beer talk, she is really going. So for all of you cheap motherfuckers** who complain that you shouldn't have to pay school taxes because they don't have kids, watch out, cause she'll get ya.

After two years of living in the country, here is our tally of dangerous creatures that we have run across: 1 black widow spider, 3 brown recluse spiders, 5+ scorpions, and 3 rattlesnakes. However, this is mitigated by 3 road runners, a couple of horny toads, a tarantula, countless rabbits (jack and cottontail), horses, and cows, a llama, and one Mississippi Kite chick with its parents.

*In the words of the tax guy from that enduring 1990s Tostitos commercial: "No, not really."
**Yeah, I used AND spelled out the whole word. That's how strongly I feel.

2006-07-26T14:08:00.000-05:00

For the first time ever Texas Monthly has inspired me to spend money on something. I ran across a short story about this place west of austin that does zip line canopy tours. I absoltely want to go, so if anyone has $60 that they can spare (and aren't going to spend on beer, cigarettes, grass, shoes, admission to movie theatres, restaurants, prostitutes, or beer), lets make a date.
www.cypressvalleycanopytours.com

2006-07-19T13:34:00.000-05:00

Growing up I had heard my dad refer to an avacado as ahuacate and though I assumed it was spanish, it was not, nor did I give much thought to the meaning of ahuacate. I think Hermes Neuticles would appreciate this NPR story.

BTW, R.I.P. S-K

2006-07-18T15:58:00.000-05:00

Dare

I saw this website mentioned in a magazine the other day and had to check it out.

http://www.buttsacrossamerica.com/

Here and now I promise to buy dinner for anyone of our loyal readers that contributes a picture to this site. (random visitors to this blog excluded) I noticed that Texas is sadly underrepresented and Austin is not represented at all!

Good luck and happy mooning!

M

2006-07-13T19:28:00.000-05:00

Hello gentle readers

We just got back from vacation and we should post about South Padre Island, the World Cup, the Gladys Porter Zoo, our anniversary, but none of that is nearly as interesting as our adventures over the past two days.

Yesterday, my boss handed me a clipping from the newspaper about a certain gubernatorial candidate making a stop in Abilene.

As expected the Jewish cowboy attracted an eclectic group of 50 or so people, everyone of whom was wondering why the person next to them lived in Abilene. We were the only delegates from our small county.

I felt compelled to buy something so he'd have something to sign. I bought Roadkill, but if Adam hadn't of asked for it back I would have had When the Cats away on hand.

M also bought some salsa.

Note by M:
I've met the man and I still have NO IDEA for whom I should vote in a few short months. I am excited though that for once I won't be voting against a particularly bad candidate...I can actually vote for a good one! I just don't know who that is yet.

Today, M came with me and my boss to Granbury on business. It was my first on location archival survey. It was also DM's first trip on one of these.

As you can see, we had a great time in this 4-seater despite it being smaller than a suburban.

We had to wear those headsets to talk to each other. The ride home was in a different plane that allegedly had air conditioning. We had to ride sitting backward this time and because of afternoon heat columns, I nearly lost my lunch, though I maintained my manly composure.

Note by M:
I kept an eye out for telltale piles of dirt near the airplane hangers, but it looks like the Night Flier hasn't recently visited the Metroplex or its surrounding areas.

For those interested in our vacation (Mom), we took a trip down to South Padre Island where the waves were lame compared to last year's hurricane Emily steroid charged waves. We watched a lot of World Cup and really got into it, well the guys got into it. The girls were watching the games through pornographic lenses (M doesn't dig soccer players the way a fellow female watcher did). I wasn't really pulling for any particular team, but it was really exciting when someone scored. My zeal for World Cup took me far beyond the vacation all the way to the headbutt heard 'round the world.

We also went to the Zoo for the benefit of my 3 year old nephew, who thankfully, is well behaved. Since the Valley's climate is quite similar to that of most tropical and African animals, the Gladys Porter Zoo is, in my opinion, one of the best zoos. The animals rarely have to be caged due to weather so there is the maximum of space used for a realistic habitat. Our nephew mostly liked the snakes. I liked this biotch.

Kinda reminds me of Contra. (And yes, those are its phosphorescent young writhing on its back.)

For our anniversary, we got to spend a quiet evening alone at a nice restaurant followed by fireworks...no not those kind, we had to share our room...and the walls were thin. I could hear my dad snoring through the walls in the condo next door. But seriously, its been 5 years! Some of you were there, some of you (well one) were not yet born, and thankfully none of you are now deed!

M note:
According to the book How to Lie With Statistics we have lasted longer than half the newlywed population. Now if only we could update our blog more often!

2006-06-18T19:08:00.001-05:00

Rain, Sun, and Pikachu.

I had heard that there was a botanical garden within reasonable driving distance for us, so this Saturday we packed up the dogs and paid the Clark Botanical Gardens a visit. This was the first time we'd taken the dogs anywhere out in public with the exception of the PetSmart doggy training classes.

Oscar and Felix did remarkably well, especially since the place was practically deserted. There were however some guinea hens and a large white peacock that kept taunting them, saying "come and get us Felix, come and get us Oscar, the best part's in the rump."

The 35 acre garden was pretty amazing for what is supposed to be the west texas wasteland. We took only a few choice, highly scripted, photos.

This was under a waterfall, but the extremes of light and dark confused the camera.

We didn't get any plant-life photos, but if you like that kinda stuff, archivists can do more than just archive.

That night there was a really fun storm that came in. The rain was horizontal, the wind knocked stuff over, and we got to see lightning strike just yards from our front door. The bolt was pink.

While searching for hors d'oeuvre recipes online, we stumbled upon Pikachu Hors d'oeuvres. The page is set up as a delightful little satire of a scientific journal article and it was just too strange not to share.

2006-06-08T22:37:00.000-05:00

Not so scary after all, and yet so much scarier.

So I was sitting on the floor sorting laundry and Oscar trots up to climb over the clothes and find the perfect spot in my lap. I take a second glance at him and have a horrible moment of deja vu. His mouth is swollen on one side. Something bit him. DAMN! We just killed that snake the other day, don't tell me there's another one and we have to go through this again! Well after a more thorough investigation, I realize there are no holes in has face and he seems fine. Whew.

This got me thinking, though. This is exactly the stuff I used to be so scared of when thinking about adulthood and responsibility and all that crap. I think I've learned more living out here in the sticks than I realized. For a long time I was really scared of the thought of owning a house. Apartment living was so nice in that someone else always had to fix the broken fridge or air conditioner or kill the bugs. This house (though we rent it) has given us a little practice. We have fixed some of the stuff around here ourselves and it really wasn't a big deal. I even installed a toilet tank on my own! (this is M talking, I once broke a toe just walking past my bed....I'm not so handy) Anyway, I figured that if we can handle fixing problems in a house so old that no knows its age, there's not really that much to worry about. It only took 27 years to come to this realization!

But it also gets really scary when I think about things that are a little more important than tile or faucets. The puppies are our next step on the long road to kids and it may sound stupid, but they are giving us a little practice. After deciding that Oscar was probably OK, all I could think was "I'm so glad we don't have to go through that again." And it wasn't the interruption of a favorite TV show, or the expense that so vividly rushed back from my memory. It was the worry and fear that stayed with me. I wasn't ready to lose a dog I'd only known for six months. Jeez, we sure get attached quickly! It turns out the scary stuff comes wrapped in a cute little creature. It's not the daily things like house training or making sure there's enough dog food that is hard. It turns out the hard part of responsibility is worry, panic, regret (I should have killed that damn snake months ago when I had a chance) and being able to take a step back when you know something could go really wrong. Man, that's big. And these are dogs, not kids! I think I'll take another 27 years to think about this some more.

2006-06-06T22:15:00.000-05:00

Basketball and Revenge
(a slightly disturbing image (only to people nicer than me) appears at the end of this post)

Way back in the dogblog beginning, we wrote about bringing the puppies home and watching the Rose Bowl game a few short days later. All of D's Rose Bowl inspired jumping and yelling (if you saw the game no explanation is needed) really freaked out the puppies. They didn't have much run of the house at that time, so they did their best to hide from him. Well, I fear they may have had flashbacks recently. This was their solution to D's jumping and yelling during the NBA playoffs:

I was happy to provide a safe, if incidental, haven for them. Since school's been out for a week and a half now, I've spent more time sitting in that chair and the dogs seem quite happy to camp out under the desk whenever I sit down. Can you guess where they are right now? It's so nice to have a warm fuzzy little body warm your feet in the winter, but the temperature has recently passed 100 degrees for several days in a row. Please guys....no foot warming is necessary! No I already feel bad for complaining. They are very sweet little dogs.

What makes me feel even more guilty is our upcoming trip to South Padre. There are no dogs allowed in the house we are occupying at the beach. Yesterday D and I checked out our vet's boarding situation and set up the dreaded neutering. Their first boarding experience will include the chopping off of balls! What kind of pet owners are we?!? I know they are just dogs, but we just can't help but feel bad for leaving them with strangers that happen to perform surgery. Sorry dudes!

Now, on to revenge. Today our rattle-y friend came out of its hole for a snack and D happened to look outside just as the snake made his appearance. Not long before this, D had rigged up a little slip knot near the snake hole so it wouldn't easily get away before we could chop it up. After some quick but careful thought, D ditched the noose and got the ax.

Now, D has a gentle spirit so this was a little tough for him. I swore revenge after Felix was bitten and am happy to report that snakey is now in two pieces somewhere outside our fence. But D feels bad for killing him. Wish I could say the same. I spare spiders, non venomous snakes and even scorpions, but that rattlesnake just had to go. As D has the good back and good aim, he had to do the dirty work. Poor guy. If you don't like seeing snakes in two pieces don't scroll down. There is no blood or gore, but I want to give you fair warning.

Felix is avenged:

If you look, you can see the snake kept moving for a while. Eww! Anyway, don't try this at home......unless you have a rattlesnake living under your house. Yep, that's our kitchen wall in the upper left corner. No, really.

2006-06-01T15:54:00.000-05:00

Real Quick:

1. Felix got better the very next day, and the swelling was gone the day after.

2. According to Gerry, all plot synopses on the back of DVD packaging is wrong. Case in point: The Big Lebowski DVD refers to the dude's rug as a "carpet that made the room "hang together."" What the fuck?!

3. I recently found a leg hair that tied itself into a knot. It reminded me of a time that I dropped a nickel at Economy and it landed on its side.

4. Had dinner with Ben Barnes here in Albany. He showed an interest in M's future career. It was a fascinating evening.

2006-05-24T18:58:00.000-05:00

Felix is doing better today. Yesterday wasn't fun staying up late with him to make sure he was going to make it. He is going to pull through and he is mostly back to normal, except for giant spuds mckenzie nose where the snake bit him. To illustrate:

Regular Felix

Felix as Ben Kingsley

As a cantankerous old geezer

Just looking really sad.

We've started both dogs on a rattlesnake vaccine. So we'll unclench our butts about letting them outside in about 3 months.

2006-05-23T22:09:00.000-05:00

God help the rattlesnake living around the house (pictured in the March 7th post). It bit Felix on the nose tonight and no matter Felix's fate...that snake is living on borrowed time. Look out bitey. I'm coming.

2006-05-22T20:56:00.000-05:00

Last week M was out of town in Austin recuperating from her surgery. I was back in Albany stone sober (no really!) the whole week. It was kinda fun. I got a lot of practice on the drums, worked on my little art project (4 years and counting), and played with the dogs.

On Saturday, I went to pick M up and as we were driving through Cisco we noticed something that we had never noticed before. See below.

We arrogantly thought that we were the first ones ever to get that joke but we couldn't have been because the warehouse was empty and the fragrant scent of recently dried latex, vinyl, and pleather had long dissipated replaced by other business endeavors of equally bad taste. Cisco is the town where there is a dollar general across the street (an actual street, four lanes, with a median, not a highway, no embankment on either side, no canals, no zombie turkeys) from family dollar (we did not get a picture. no free advertising for them).

Later, however, the aliens came back and opened the store, injecting a fresh supply of bondage equipment and other education toys. (for those recommended to this site by M, sorry I have to please a diverse audience.)

In dog related news, we recently had the dogs prove a natural phenomenon to us. Everyone know that you can scare the blood out of a horned toad, in fact, out of its eyes. And though Texas Monthly beat us to the punch confirming this seemingly impossible myth, it is true. Felix and Oscar cornered a poor endangered horned toad and it shot'em up good with blood. Got Oscar right in the eye. This really pissed them off and they clawed at it mercilessly while barking at it. "Hey!," they'd say over and over. But the toad was perfectly fine if not freaked out. I was too pissed off at the dogs to take any pictures. Sorry. I just didn't understand how they could attack an endangered species.

We'll get pictures of the next thing they attack, promise.*

Before I go, here is one picture to scare you and another illustrating the generosity of Albany.

The teachers all donated goodies to keep M fed and her mind busy after her surgery. If any are reading this and aren't totally offended by the above...Thank You.

*Promise not valid in Missouri or France.

2006-05-07T15:35:00.000-05:00

A Two-Prong Attack

The saga continues. D and I decided to take matters into our own hands this weekend, so with a storm rolling in we hurriedly gathered our weapons.

While trying to minimize the environmental impact (this is a working ranch after all) we knew we had to act fast. Since bugs don't react well to soap we thought it might work just as well as expensive cans of poison. After preparing an arsenal of soapy water balloons, D got to work on preparing the field of battle.

The stage was set for our no holds barred assault.

D even came at them from another angle just to up our odds.

Though the water balloon contingent suffered many losses, we felt the assault was not only necessary, but effective.

(This is in no way an advertisement for Dish Network. They are worth about as much as the balloon carnage you see before you. And they are far less fun to deal with than bees.)

This was but just one prong of our attack. As fun as this prong was, it alone would not suffice. We had to attack from two sides to ensure victory.

We raided the BBQ aisle of the local grocery store. Though a duralog would have been best, we made due with lighter fluid, mesquite chips and strike-a-fire starters.

The final step was to sweep up the bee carnage and hope for the best.

The fire has been going for the better part of the weekend and only once have we heard the telltale buzzing from the chimney. I think this qualifies as blitzkrieg. Guess that German heritage in me came in handy. Die bastards.

2006-05-04T20:18:00.000-05:00

Life's a bee, and then you die

So the universe has a sense of humor. Or at least the little part that we currently occupy.

After much life, job, health, etc. stress over the past few weeks, things came to a head this afternoon. I'll spare you the soap opera and just say that life has handed me a few lemons lately, but today I decided to just laugh and hope the bees aren't attracted to my lemonade. While letting out the puppies after school today, I see the pre-teen boy who mows our yard walk by and he tells me he can't finish mowing our yard. He goes on to explain that he noticed a considerable number of bees hanging around our chimney earlier today. He is afraid the mower will stir them up and they will all come after him. No problem, we'll wait till they leave and I'll give him a call. I go back inside to see what Oprah can teach me today and hear a funny sound. I walk over to the fireplace and discover that the bees apparently moved into our fireplace sometime today. Hmmm...Interesting dilemma. So I make sure the fireplace is secure and figure that D's almost home and we can figure it out together. A while later, our lawn mowing friend comes running up to our door and says he saw a swarm of bees and followed them to...can you guess? I'll give you a minute
.
.
.
.
.
Our chimney!
We walk outside and sure enough, the entire top of the chimney is enveloped in a black cloud of death, I mean bees. So now I get a little nervous. OK, call the landlord, get the exterminator wheels moving. OK, D gets home, we look at the bees.....hmmm.....then we go our separate ways. Two hours later, I come home from a meeting and notice that the buzzing has really gotten loud. I walk into the living room and see the window covered in bees trying to get out. Yes, out. Inexplicably they have found a way into the house. Shit. I leave a very polite message on the landlord's answering machine, close off the room, stuff towels under the door and immediately google Africanized bees. Not long ago Texas Monthly informed me that Abilene has the largest concentration of Killer Bees in the country. Of course. Where else would they be? Or bee?

So D gets home shortly thereafter and we start to problem solve (I'm going to completely leave out any mention of panicking that may or may not have happened). We try to open the other not-so-bee-covered windows and see if they'll just fly out. No. So we decide to try to open their window of choice, pop off the screen and hope for the best. D volunteers, of course, and I load him up with 3 hats, 2 scarves, 2 pairs of gloves, a down coat and a pillow case over his head and I wait in the yard with a fly swatter wondering if I should just call 911 now. Fortunately, the whole thing goes off without a hitch and the bees leave.

We are so busy shooing them out and marveling at how they aren't attacking that we forget to worry about how they got there in the first place. Before you know it, we are waving our arms around and running from the room once again. Shit. OK, Daniel goes back in with towels and shoves them into any possible bee-sized hole he can find. Then we open the window and shoo out the new bees. Meanwhile a wonderful co worker of mine is trying to track down a guy she knows that comes to people's homes, collects their problem bees and takes them away. No poison needed. We're still waiting to see who wins the bee race. Will it bee (hee hee) the landlord's exterminator or bee keeper who doesn't answer his phone?

Tune in next time for the gripping conclusion of When Bees Attack...Your Living Room.

2006-04-07T19:04:00.000-05:00

February sucks and it lasted till Friday

Since my last update, the dogs have taken a back seat to family death, injury, and illness. I'd been pretty bitter about it all until today. I'll explain.

Last week, my grandfather, died. Before you get all bleary eyed and apologetic, he was really old, 86. He got away with being a functional alcoholic (he put the fun in functional alcoholic) and a chain smoker till he was in his early eighties. No cancer, no disease of any kind, unless being a curmugeon is a disease.

Grandpa was also "the man." No, not the way Sean Connery uses it, he was management for U.S. Steel. He and my mom were total opposites (in that way and others (though not in stubbornness)) Good thing she moved to labor-loving liberal Texas, huh. I don't know much more than that. I really only saw him a handful of times in my adult life. Mostly what I remember about him was that he always had polaroid camera with him and he used to pretend to close the car door on his leg to get a laugh out of me.

For numerous reasons, I didn't go to the funeral. One of which was that M was laid up at the time.

As most of you know, M has scoliosis or curvature of the spine. When she was 16, she had her spine fused. The now straight spine had to be held in place with titanium rods. The top of the rods would occasionally snag on a muscle or nerve temporarily. So far, the snag hasn't been temporary. So now she is in Austin seeing what is what from her orthopedic surgeon.

So while she is dealing with that, I get a stomach virus. That was Monday. Today is the first day that I've had ful meal. It was the best pizza I've ever tasted.

While all of this was taking place, M and I went up to Fort Worth for my brother's 30th birthday. Here are some pictures of the dogs from that trip.

Oscar and Gracie. She really isn't so bad, she is just old. Don't worry, she didn't bite the puppies.

Doin the freak out!

This is what I call the 'tard picture. When they fight, their gums get dry and their lips get stuck like this and make them look very silly.

M and Oscar sleeping.

2006-03-16T20:32:00.004-06:00

Lincoln and the formal education of puppies.

This past Monday, Oscar and Felix graduated from puppy training school. They were very indifferent* since their diplomas were neither food nor underwear. On Monday, they start the intermediate dog class. The dogs are still half-jerks and we want them to be 2 non-jerks.

Now for Lincoln...

As I sat on the couch this evening, sipping my rolling rock greenlight, I caught one of those one reel wonders

on TCM. I caught it in the middle,so I don't know what the theme was though I suspect it had something to do with patriotism and history as it was a reel from the late 40s, early 50s...and quite lame might I add.

So as I'm paying attention to Oscar, I noticed that some blind guy in a hospital is talking to Abraham Lincoln (no doubt a civil war soldier...I know he was blind because he was wearing a blind fold.) He recited the first half of the Gettysburg Address, then lincoln finished off the second part. As actor Lincoln finished up the Address, I noticed that the Gettysburg Address ends thusly: "that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain, that this nation under God shall have a new birth of freedom, and that government of the people, by the people, for the people shall not perish from the earth."

Notice the familiar phrase, "nation under God." Well, I read a long article in the Atlantic about Lincoln and though he was a Christian, he was not evangelical. Then I remember learning that the Eisenhower administration had put the phrase "under God" in the Pledge of Allegiance. I didn't believe that Lincoln would have put that phrase in, and after 5 minutes of research, I found digitized versions of the first two drafts of the Address at the LC website. And guess what?!, no "under God" to be found. If you don't believe me, see for yourself http://www.loc.gov/exhibits/gadd/gadrft.html

*=Yes I did that on purpose, it is a joke.

2006-03-07T18:08:00.000-06:00

Adj.

cityfied - being or having the customs or manners or dress of a city person

Amen.

I guess I was feeling a little too comfortable in this rural situation. The universe needed to remind me that I'm a city girl.

Today, in a rush, I came home during a 30 minute lunch to give the dogs a mid-day break. This is usually D's job as he has a long lunch, but is currently out of town. Anyway I ran inside, kicked off my painful shoes and opened the door for the pups. I stayed inside to fix a quick lunch. Suddenly a flurry of barking drew me outside to find the dogs barking madly at a neighbor walking by. No biggie. Since I was shoeless, I had walked out into the yard by hopping from rock to rock laid out in a nice little path. I turned around to go back inside along my rocky path and looked down. This is what I saw.

I had just stepped directly over this lovely little Texas hazard. I froze, backed away out on the grass, grabbed the dogs and made a rather wide circular path back inside. Knowing my tendency to freak out, and not wanting to appear completely ignorant of snake types, (which I am) I immediately do a Google image search on rattlesnakes. Yep, I'd say that's a positive ID. To cover my bases I even checked out pictures of bull snakes just in case I was mistaken. I wasn't.

I then realized that it was time to return to work, but had just enough time to reach back out the door and snap that quick photo. Not bad for leaning way over and just hoping I'm pointing the camera in the right direction, no? Anyway rest assured, universe, I know my place. No more cute shoes out here. I've got my boots and I'll wear them with a dress if I have to.

By the way, this is now what I intend to keep just outside the back door.

All ax wielding maniacs are welcome to come by and try to chop us to bits with our own ax. Just mind the snakes.

2006-03-06T20:34:00.000-06:00

Conspiracy Theories (Mel Gibson not included)

The Oscars.....
I just can't seem to stay away from the show that takes 4 hours of my life every year. Of course, Jon Stewart hosting made the whole thing easier to swallow. Anyway, while watching the obligatory performances of nominated songs, I figured out the answer to an oft speculated conspiracy. Get ready......this is good.

Dolly Parton is Elvis.

Take a moment and let this sink in.
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Mind-blowing, no? Many believe that Elvis is alive and in hiding. I just can't fathom that if Elvis is still alive that he's just laying low. What better way to stick around and maintain a music career than create an alter ego? I mean, Garth Brooks could have taken a few notes from Elvis in the mulit-persona arena. I mean what was up with that Chris guy anyway? Allow me to present a few points to ponder:

Dolly just turned 60, Elvis would be 71 (pretty close, and he'd want to become someone younger to be able to stick around a little longer)
Both are southern and proud of it.
Both are talented performers. Now don't get me wrong, but they do both have an inexplicable, devoted, cultish following.
Theme parks dedicated to both. I mean, there's no Bananarama Land, Or Depeche Mode Water Park.
Both have slightly bizarre and definitely unique "looks".
Elvis died in '77, just 2 or 3 years after Dolly started making occasional television appearances like Candid Camera.
Elvis could have easily recorded Dolly's early music at Graceland with little outside help.
Both starred in some memorable movies and some utterly forgettable ones. (OK, that's not exclusive to Dolly & Elvis.

Pretty convincing, no? Well, at least a new way to waste five or ten minutes of your day. Hope you enjoyed.

m

2006-03-01T17:47:00.000-06:00

If you name your dog Rex, will he have an Oedipal complex?

I can't believe that I have become one of those people. D and I took Felix to the vet today because he has relapsed in the housetraining department. Our first thought was...."Well he's being an asshole." Then we let paranoia take over and began to wonder about possible bladder problems. Well, after 2 1/2 minutes at the vet we hear, "He's a headcase. Congratulations." How embarrassing to out your own doggie hypochondria. The vet (a huge fan of Jack Russells and has two of his own) offered some sage advice as we left his office. "Good Luck." Hey, it was free.

Great, he's not even 4 months old and we're dealing with psychological problems. Maybe I can read up on my Freud, have Felix lay down on his doggie couch and tell me how he really feels about his sudden lack of urinary control. (I think that leopard print on the couch really adds something!)

He's always been weird, but dogs just are sometimes, right? So now after six weeks of puppy school, we've learned that we have one dog that's really smart (and a headcase) and one dog that's very athletic, but not so quick on the uptake. So we've got a neurotic bedwetter and a dumb jock? OK, alright, take it easy, no big deal. We just need an artist/drama student, a hardcore ROTC cadet and an FFA member and we've got our own Dog High School population! I wonder if we could actually simulate a genuine adolescent experience with the right combination of dogs. It boggles the mind.

Anyway, here's the meat and potatoes of the blog: (that was for you, Mr. Lash. Bob's your uncle.)

Spoiled rotten brats.....No wonder they have problems.

2006-02-24T09:48:00.000-06:00

Hey junior campers...

Yesterday, I expressed to Mel-a-rific how I was nervous about taking the dogs camping as long as there were other dogs coming. At dog class (aka puppy kindergarten) both Oscar and Felix growl and snap and bark at the other puppies in the class and we just can't seem to figure out how to get them to be nice.

So yesterday, as Mel's e-mail as the impetus, we held our breath and let Oscar and Felix have at the ranch dogs.

As one website put it, "puppies will annoy adult dogs incessantly." You'd of thought Fritz was covered with gravy the way they kept licking his face. Fritz quickly quashed that activity simply by growling. You can see the effect it had on the puppies

Gaby was more standoffish than Fritz. She never really warmed up to the puppies as you can see here. Both Gaby and Fritz are somewhat elderly dogs so they made very half-assed attempts to chase off Oscar and Felix.

After a while, both puppies did exactly what "the literature" told us they would do. They became submissive to Fritz and laid over on their back. It was an accepted invitation for Fritz to sniff them out.

In the end, it went better than we had expected as Oscar, Felix, and Fritz became friends. Of course, my camera missed the best part of the this adventure: Fritz walked over to some bushes with Oscar following. Oscar was standing underneath Fritz and was curious as to why Fritz was lifting his leg. After his golden shower, both he and Felix got a bath.

Then we decided to get rid of them.

So for those of you bringing dogs on the camping trip, beware, because they will be annoyed incessantly by Oscar and Felix

2006-02-22T14:11:00.000-06:00

Real quick, here are two photos given to us by the dogs previous owners taken Dec. 26, 2005, when the dogs were 5 weeks old. As you can see, they now look completely different.

Enjoy.

And I'd like to add that if you would like to meet the dogs, come camping with us on April 21-23.

2006-02-18T19:10:00.000-06:00

The return of manners...

Today I decided to install UNIX on my old laptop in the hopes that I can use it as a server and run databases off of it at work. As I was searching for a distribution to download (FreeBSD 4.5 in case anyone was interested), I came across the following thread: http://www.computing.net/unix/wwwboard/forum/6550.html
For anyone who hates rude assholes, check this out. It will make you feel good. Don't fuck with the online tech community.

2006-02-13T20:22:00.000-06:00

Hey there bloggers...

A new discovery in pet ownership was made this past week.

Puppies don't shed!? Eggs don't ripen?!

So what is going on? Oscar and Felix are fast becoming adolsecent dogs. No longer are they soft, sac-less, 2lb. animals. It is actually a strain to pick each of them up with one hand. And forget about holding them in one hand while they struggle against being brushed.

I wish we had photographed them against the same background every week so you could better tell that they have grown.

Below are two photographs. One taken today, the other taken the first week we had the puppies, January, 3 2006.

And here is a little factoid. From the cheapest wholesaler, it would cost $1000 to build a 7ft. tall toilet role pyramid.

2006-02-05T13:59:00.000-06:00

3 things...

This will not be a usual dog blog post. No dogs, just talk (well, maybe just one).

1. Betty Friedan died today. As cliche it is to remember someone only after they are dead (we aren't going to see her at the Oscars), The Feminine Mystique is one of my favorite books. Sure, the second half is mostly dry sociological studies, but the first half is full of revelations. Through high school, I always had this nagging feeling that my attitude towards women was not in the mainstream, that my mom was not like other moms. But I could never quite figure out why that was. I didn't know that my mom was a minority among my friends' moms, and why I always got the bug-eyes when i told people (in the valley) that my mom was a lawyer.

The Feminine Mystique kind of codified all of what I could not figure out on my own. Of course, as a result, I saw evidence for the book everywhere. But I didn't feel the need to always point them out like some caricature from PCU. For most of you readers out there, the book won't be very compelling as Friedan's ideas have moved into the mainstream, but you should read it anyway. Think Mrs. Brown from The Hours.

2. It has been the best football year for the Alonzo family. UT won the national championship, and the Pittsburgh Steelers won the Superbowl. And it wasn't the usual bad superbowl, it was actually a good game. Not a blowout, not 3-0.

3. M is in Austin this week and I am in Albany. Pizza and dogpiss will be the rule for the week. No picking up, no cleaning. I'm only bathing to keep my job.

2006-01-30T20:53:00.000-06:00

The Teacher Becomes the Student

So, they call it "dog school" but it's really school for people that are not smarter than their dogs. Yes, D and I are part of this category. Tonight we completed our second of eight dog classes. Fortunately, the class is only for puppies so, though Felix was the first in the class to go to the bathroom on the floor, he will not be the last. (please, please, please) It's embarrassing when your dogs leaves little presents on the floor of the classroom, but when someone else's dog vomits everywhere, well that's really funny.

It turns out that D and I have not been making ALL the common dog training mistakes, but we're certainly making plenty of them. I mean, did you know that you have to take the dogs out every day to successfully house train them?!?!?! And since when did puppies eat things that aren't good for them? I mean now we have to clean up all those puddles of antifreeze and chocolate we've got all over the house! And WHAT am I going to do with my poisonous plant collection?

No, we're actually learning a lot and now have dogs that mostly come when we call them and can even sit down for a few seconds. It's really interesting to watch the dog trainer try to peg everyone in the class. She thought she knew D & I and the dogs right off the bat. I apparently came off as the one that babies the dogs and doesn't raise my voice. HA!! She also assumed that we each had our own dog, as if one was "mine" or "his". Neither one is mine when they've just peed on the floor. Those are D's dogs! Anyway, it's interesting and gets us off the ranch for something other than work or a trip to Austin. I guess we'll keep going.....if only so Felix can learn that he's not actually 150 pounds of pure muscle ready to devour another dog on the spot. Yes, he's one of those big dogs in a tiny body. Well, I've made you read long enough. Here's what you really came for:

This is a picture at the puppies first house. We took them back to play with their mom and uncle. Once the sniffing was over, all they wanted to do was go outside.

Above is Cookie (mom) with Felix. He seemed to recognize her right away, though Oscar didn't ever really warm up.

Left is Oscar with Uncle Squirrel. They're almost the same size as each other. It's pretty funny since Squirrel is from the same litter as Cookie, who actually grew.

Another shot of them on the couch with me. There seem to be a lot of these. Maybe I should get outside more often.......Nah.

2006-01-27T13:30:00.000-06:00

The Chihuahua-nator

Well, in our infinite wisdom, D and I decided to go our separate ways this past weekend. He went to San Antonio to help an old professor run for president of ALA and I went to Austin to spend one last weekend with my sis before she moves to Chicago. We decided not to just leave them in the yard with a thawing steak and hope for the best......so I took them with me. Yes Kelly, I came to town with puppies and didn't tell you. This trip was all about Mel. And housetraining. And making sure Charlie (family dog) didn't eat the pups for lunch. I mean if your dog could channel the Terminator, you would worry a little too. Can anyone say "deadlights"?

So we had to introduce them in neutral territory and keep a pretty close eye on them all weekend. Charlie did a decent job of ignoring them when he could, but when two furry balls of energy come running at you full speed, ignoring gets a little difficult. But he did well for his first time. Somewhere in the dog afterlife my Aunt's dog watched this all happen and laughed. Once Charlie was the eager puppy and she was the grouchy old dog not willing to play. How the tables have turned, Charlie.

After some initial sniffing in places and barking, they all seemed to settle down and just tolerate each other.

He still has those evil eyes.........

We also discovered that on cold days at home Oscar & Felix happily sit in front of our space heater for as long as we'll let them.

You've managed to avoid the dog sweaters so far boys, but look out! There will be many more winters in your futures.

Sweaters.....they'll be back.

2006-01-19T22:10:00.000-06:00

Ahhh! We fed them after midnight!

But seriously, I have been wanting to try this out for a while and this first effort seemed to go fairly well. Next time I'll use a tripod. Enjoy!

2006-01-16T17:25:00.000-06:00

Kindergarten Masters

Hi all. Guess I'll put in my little bit since my Glamour mag is not available at the moment. Well, this puppy thing has sealed the deal. NO KIDS, EVER! If two dogs are this much work, how does anyone raise a human being?!?

Nah, it's not all that bad. The pups are getting the hang of house training and we haven't had anything major destroyed by puppy teeth yet. I am going to take them to Austin soon. THAT should be interesting. My sis is moving to big Chicago so we have to hang out one last time, puppies or no puppies.

Never have D or I been greeted so warmly upon coming home from work or waking up in the morning. It's a bit of an ego boost to stumble out of bed at 6 am with dragon breath, oily hair and big bags under your eyes and still get such a warm reception right off the bat. Yes, they mostly have to pee, but I'll take what I can get.

We all start puppy kindergarten next week. Yes, as a matter of fact, I did tattoo "SUCKER" across my forehead recently. As D & I are both amateurs at this dog thing, we thought we'd take the pups to dog school just for kicks (and a small fee). It should be quite interesting to see whose dog pees on the floor first and if one attacks another puppy in the class. I must confess, as I read the description of the class, I said to D "We are so going to kick all those other dog's asses." That's right! We got this training thing down! Look out Petstar, here we come!

Ah, I do love delusions of grandeur. I'm sure we'll get what's coming to us. At least puppy kindergarten will be great fodder for future posts. Wish the little guys luck!

2006-01-15T15:18:00.000-06:00

Today is Sunday. As you can see below, I'm catching up on some reading. Who battled cancer, what kind of lip gloss won't glue my lips together, and how can I give the WWW the finger in a very very subtle way.

Its also mid-lame month and we still have yet to take down the holiday lights. M is currently running around the house trying to get the dogs to chase her. Sometimes they chase, and sometimes they do that ass-rubbing-the-floor run.

Anyway, without further .... blah blah...here are some more pictures:

Felix

The dogs doing their best Elizabeth Taylor

Oscar: Pooping, or climbing the couch?

Another action shot.

They get their 2nd round of shots on Wednesday, including meds to rid them of tapeworm, which they got by eating the fleas that they had when they lived with their mom. We'd leave the tapeworms in, but we aren't raising models.

In Archives news, there was a very good article in this quarter's American Archivist. In about 40 pages, it told me to stop living in a fantasy world and start putting whatever information I had on unprocessed collections on the website. The thesis being that I will never have enough time to completely process them all, as long as I am taking in new acquisitions. So with all of that out of the way, I can get new shelving. Yea for me. I never thought that shelving could excite me so. It would excite me more if it was that kind that is made of arched bars instead of solid metal.

2006-01-13T16:21:00.000-06:00

So today is Friday the 13th, but its in the lamest month of the year, January. So how lame is January? Two holidays, New Year's and MLK Day. One obviously travels, the other is subject to non-observation depending on your job and your geographic locale. Here in Albany, MLK Day is sacrificed so that the school can shut down when the Stock Show comes to town. Why should they, there are no blacks here...is the reason one will get when asked why MLK Day is not observed. The true meaning of MLK Day seems to be completely lost here.

So again, January is lame. Its a cold, slow march from the drunken bliss of the holidays to the brief and commercial facade that is Valentines Day. Pass the marzipan! From then on, its gets better. There is the March of Easter (for my family, an excuse to get together and barbecue), the April Birthdays (about 12 of them), and on to the Friday of the months, May, usually marked by good weather and summer vacation planning. And then it will be summer again, with the blistering heat that I call normal. By then, the dogs will be fully grown and trained enough so that we can dump them off on my sister while we fly off to someplace for vacation. Likely California.

So when most of you are enjoying your Monday off (as I get every Monday, mofos), remember Megan as it will be business as usual.

BTW, I told you all that it would be hard to keep up with this and raise the puppies at the same time.

2006-01-11T22:00:00.000-06:00

Hey Bloggers,

No pictuers at this juncture. The dogs are more or less the same. Since the last tiime, we have only had two incidence of fecal espionage. Unfortunately, we have had countless accidents with the number one, but luckily it doesn’t stain and the carpet is tan anyway. We do believe they are catching on though, but for them to catch on, I have say, in a very high voice, “Do you have to go potty?” I have to say this evertime I think they may have to go, and everytime we go out. This is easy for Megan, she has a high voice. I just sound like a chode.

I also found out that I am going to go to ALA midwinter in San Antonio, but just for the opening weekend. I’m going just to campaign for Dr. Roy, who as you all may or may not know is running for ALA president in March. I’m going to stay with my old firend Diego, who is a pharmacist, and we all know what kind of month he has been having. I always thought that sometimes he could be a bit callous, but callousness is a necessity now with angry seniors getting screwed by the transition from Medicaid to Medicare Plan D.

Despite the long drive, I have hope that it’ll be a good time, plus I’ll get to try my salesman skills on a different group of people. At the archives conference, I usually sell raffle tickets, now I’ll try my best at selling Dr. Roy. Who wants to come with me?

2006-01-05T20:19:00.000-06:00

Happy New Year!

If you are wondering where we have been the answer is puppies. True "puppies" is not a real answer, or even gramatically correct, or sensical, but it is succinct. We got Felix and Oscar on Tuesday and they really are like children. They wake up at 7:20 a.m., take five naps a day and pee every hour or so.

Luckily, they haven't done much peeing inside, and only two sneaky logs in the bathroom. Megan is doing a great job training them this week while she is off. Megan is the alpha dog, which means I am of the status of Felix and Oscar. Well, not quite.

I scared the crap out of them last night while I, like the rest of Austin was jumping and yelling. I could barely contain my excitement. I have been waiting for 8 years (though some had to wait 36) for this win and for it to have been the greatest game i've seen all year was, like the booger, the icing on the cake. For those of you who missed the game or "don't care," even you would have to admit that the Rose Bowl was a great game...had you seen it.

Back to puppies. Felix is mellow, inquisitive, and smart. Oscar is active, needy, and an instigator. Together they form chode-dog. Like all children they are monkey-see, monkey-do(or funky-see, funky-do); if one is playing with a toy, the other immediately wants to play with it; they fight constantly...bite eachother's wiener thinking its a teet...

And now, here are the most recent pictures, 7 weeks.

Sleeping dogs lie (boo).

That is a carrot

This is Megan doing her best stiff arm.

Self explanatory

The End