Giving thanks...

Though many may be under the impression that this coming week is about turkey vs. ham, cranberry sauce vs. real cranberries or giving thanks that your family doesn't suck vs. giving thanks that this holiday is only one day; it's not.

This coming week is about Texas vs. Texas A&M, Oklahoma vs. Oklahoma State, and the Dallas Cowboys vs. New York Jets. This week is also about a bunch of other football games. So that we can all remember which games are important enough to watch I offer up this handy schedule

Thanksgiving Day:

Dallas Cowboys vs. New York Jets
CBS
3:15pm
I pick Dallas to win, duh. The Jets have won 2 games and the only reason they aren't last in their division is because Miami hasn't won a game yet.

#11USC vs. #6Arizona State
ESPN
7pm
Americans don't much like monopolies and like most (except those living in southern california), I'm tired of seeing USC. I would like them to go away for a while and join the likes of Notre Dame(2-9), Miami(5-6), and Florida State(7-4).

Friday:

Texas vs. Texas A&M
ABC
2:30pm
The obnoxious Aggies really aren't any good this year, but UT has been inconsistent to say the least.

#19Boise St. vs. #15Hawaii
ESPN2
8pm
This should be a good game simply because Boise St. is in it. If anyone saw them play OU last season or saw them in the 4-OT, 69-67 win over Nevada this season, you know what I'm talking about. Hawaii is one of only two teams left that are undefeated this season and if they run the table, there will be much BCS hand-wringing (like every year).

Arkansas vs. #1LSU
CBS
3:30pm
I don't think this game will be any good, but it's been a strange year. LSU has already lost once and it would be interesting if they lost again.

Saturday:

#20Connecticut vs. #3West Virginia
?
11am
I'm just pissed because W. Virginia is ranked higher than Kansas despite losing to South Florida earlier in the year before all the South Florida hype. West Virginia is in it every year before choking in the final weeks of the season. So nuts to them.

Oklahoma vs. Oklahoma State
FSN
2:30pm
This is the Oklahoma version of the one-sided UT, A&M rivalry. One team desperately trying to garner attention over the other like those a-holes in the background of an on-location newscast. The difference being that A&M doesn't have a delusional Dickensian millionaire benefactor. A&M likely has millionaires donating also but probably to their academics rather than something as unimportant (in the grand scheme) as football.

#4Missouri vs. #2Kansas
ABC
7pm
This is the WTF game of the year. Who'd a thought these two would be this good and Nebraska would be so bad. I'm hoping Kansas wins just to fuck with the BCS standings. If they run the table and beat Missouri this week and (probably) Oklahoma the following week, will they get to play in the big game? Who knows. Its just as likely we'll see Ohio State and LSU which would be repeat of last year's blowout.

Interesting stuff from Gmail, and some comments on SPAM

For a while now, I've been a bit irked at the seemingly constant stream of SPAM related publicity, most likely perpetrated by those whose entire existence must be ironic. Yes, SPAM (the luncheon meat, not the seductively literate class of e-mail) was once funny because of how disgusting it was, but after a festival*, millions of hits on google, and its endless tour on the sitcom circuit, its getting as tired as that "Whazzzup!" commercial from a couple of years ago.

Besides there is plenty of other bizarre food from a bygone era to idolize, just look here, or why not vienna sausages, or Deviled Ham**? The 1950s were full of disgusting crap. Why don't sardines get a festival? They could combine it into a Cat Fancy dual festival.

Speaking of disgusting crap, how about this, which was a web clip on my Gmail: Spam Fajitas!
WTF? I'll spare you all my diatribe (which I learned from dad) about how fajita is actually a cut of meat. I hate it when food is intellectually dishonest.

But it gets better. The "recipe" calls for salsa, but not just any salsa, its has to be from CHI CHI's, a "mexican" restaurant that I've only seen in Pennsylvania. Why don't I just put some mayo on some avocados and call it guacamole?

So I'll leave you all with this thought. If illegal immigration from the south is such a hugh problem, then how come Chi Chi's still exists? I don't think national security is worth bad mexican food, do you?

UPDATE: The Spam Fajitas must be a marketing scheme. Both Chi Chi's Salsa AND SPAM are owned by Hormel Foods!

UPDATE 2: As Uncle Joe mentions, Chi Chi's restaurant went out of business and good riddance! However, the above conspiracy still holds. Also I found out that if you are in the spam folder of you gmail, all of the web clips have to do with spam.

*Why Austin, why not Dollywood if they are really looking for irony?
**Which is actually pretty damn good sometimes.

The Mansion, The Bodies, The Greatest

This past weekend, M and I visited my sister up in Denton. Her and 3 friends somehow managed to rent this huge 4 bedroom house that has a garage, a huge living room, and a huge gameroom on the second floor, and a heart-shaped hot tub in the master bedroom. Swank! Rent is $1600 per month. Get the fuck out, you say? No its true and in classic irony the best party house ever is rented by people who know better.

On Saturday, we went to see the Body Worlds exhibit at the Museum of Nature and Science at Fair Park in Dallas. It was not as creepy as you'd imagine. The only part of the bodies that retained any humanity was their finger and toe nails. The exhibit was very informative and really made you want to keep healthy. Other than the bodies that were splayed in various positions, there were also diseased lungs, livers, kidneys, and hearts. There was a aortic aneurysm the size of a tangerine. Totally cool!

We also visited my brother and his wife and their 3 month old daughter. She was cute and had a very amiable personality. She also made a lot of faces, some of them were a reaction to me, some to poop.

Later that night we went and hung out at a smoky bar with my sister and her friends and the Booklahver, who I remembered lived nearby. Though I'm sure to be the only one to have nostalgia for the noxious cloud that hung just above our heads but just below the televisions, taken in small doses I really do miss that unhealthy bar scene. I'm sure in the future it will be looked at with as much disdain as smoking during trial, in the cockpit, or in the cock pit.

Interspersed through our activities and the eating of fine cuisine was the greatest sandwich every made. It had been calling to me for several weeks, but when my sister told me that the hype was true, I had to have it. Yes, I'm talking about Whataburger's Honey BBQ Chicken Strip Sandwich. Since I don't work for them, I won't urge you to get one (especially since it has 1110 calories), but it is a damn good sandwich to enjoy every once in a while. However, because it is "here for a limited time only," it kinda makes me want to go on a Ribwich-style tour.

BTW, M got into grad school!
If you haven't e-mailed her to congratulate her, you have until June!