P.S. to previous snake post:

You haven't lived until you pick up a dead snake with salad tongs and fling it over your fence at 6:30 in the morning while wearing a bathrobe. With a towel on your head. With no shoes.

Try it.

If anyone has been listening, reading, or (god forbid) watching the news, you may know that the administration has been likening itself to Winston Churchill and the terrorists to the Nazis, claiming that the US is fighting to stop a growing tide of Islamic fascism. In this story from NPR, Rumsfeld claims this in earnest.

An unusually decent editorial from Keith Olberman*, a talking head from TVland, sums up my outrage and disgust. Read it, because if you have become complacent and apathetic to the constant barrage of bullshit coming from the WH, this will whip you back into a froth just in time to get out and vote.

P.S. We did kill the snake that just recently bit Felix.

*and yes, I understand the irony of this contrasted with my parenthetical comment earlier

Just for fun.

Worst. Parents. Ever.

Well, we have a hunting dog. Since May 23rd, Felix has been bitten by a rattlesnake (in the damn yard) three times. 3! He must be hunting them every time we let him outside even for two minutes! Oscar seems to steer clear. Or maybe Felix is the bodyguard. (can you hear Whitney in the background?)

What is wrong with us? If they had pet protective services we'd be in big trouble. We'd have supervised visits with the dogs and would probably be demoted to taking care of house plants or sea monkeys. Look out aloe vera plants and pet fish, I'm incapable if taking care of a 15 pound dog. You're next!

Here's Felix last week after recovering from snake bite #2. Yes, last week.......

Notice his slim little nose.


















And this evening with his venom goiter and nice fat nose.
I think we will single-handedly breed the dog super flu with all the antibiotics that Felix has taken in the past two weeks.























Oh, and to any potential visiting friends or family.....we have only accidentally stumbled upon a rattlesnake once in over two years and it didn't even open it's eyes. So please don't think that Samuel L. Jackson lives here and battles snakes day in and day out. Felix just has a knack for finding them.

Not so scary after all, and yet so much scarier.

So I was sitting on the floor sorting laundry and Oscar trots up to climb over the clothes and find the perfect spot in my lap. I take a second glance at him and have a horrible moment of deja vu. His mouth is swollen on one side. Something bit him. DAMN! We just killed that snake the other day, don't tell me there's another one and we have to go through this again! Well after a more thorough investigation, I realize there are no holes in has face and he seems fine. Whew.

This got me thinking, though. This is exactly the stuff I used to be so scared of when thinking about adulthood and responsibility and all that crap. I think I've learned more living out here in the sticks than I realized. For a long time I was really scared of the thought of owning a house. Apartment living was so nice in that someone else always had to fix the broken fridge or air conditioner or kill the bugs. This house (though we rent it) has given us a little practice. We have fixed some of the stuff around here ourselves and it really wasn't a big deal. I even installed a toilet tank on my own! (this is M talking, I once broke a toe just walking past my bed....I'm not so handy) Anyway, I figured that if we can handle fixing problems in a house so old that no knows its age, there's not really that much to worry about. It only took 27 years to come to this realization!

But it also gets really scary when I think about things that are a little more important than tile or faucets. The puppies are our next step on the long road to kids and it may sound stupid, but they are giving us a little practice. After deciding that Oscar was probably OK, all I could think was "I'm so glad we don't have to go through that again." And it wasn't the interruption of a favorite TV show, or the expense that so vividly rushed back from my memory. It was the worry and fear that stayed with me. I wasn't ready to lose a dog I'd only known for six months. Jeez, we sure get attached quickly! It turns out the scary stuff comes wrapped in a cute little creature. It's not the daily things like house training or making sure there's enough dog food that is hard. It turns out the hard part of responsibility is worry, panic, regret (I should have killed that damn snake months ago when I had a chance) and being able to take a step back when you know something could go really wrong. Man, that's big. And these are dogs, not kids! I think I'll take another 27 years to think about this some more.

Basketball and Revenge
(a slightly disturbing image (only to people nicer than me) appears at the end of this post)

Way back in the dogblog beginning, we wrote about bringing the puppies home and watching the Rose Bowl game a few short days later. All of D's Rose Bowl inspired jumping and yelling (if you saw the game no explanation is needed) really freaked out the puppies. They didn't have much run of the house at that time, so they did their best to hide from him. Well, I fear they may have had flashbacks recently. This was their solution to D's jumping and yelling during the NBA playoffs:




I was happy to provide a safe, if incidental, haven for them. Since school's been out for a week and a half now, I've spent more time sitting in that chair and the dogs seem quite happy to camp out under the desk whenever I sit down. Can you guess where they are right now? It's so nice to have a warm fuzzy little body warm your feet in the winter, but the temperature has recently passed 100 degrees for several days in a row. Please guys....no foot warming is necessary! No I already feel bad for complaining. They are very sweet little dogs.

What makes me feel even more guilty is our upcoming trip to South Padre. There are no dogs allowed in the house we are occupying at the beach. Yesterday D and I checked out our vet's boarding situation and set up the dreaded neutering. Their first boarding experience will include the chopping off of balls! What kind of pet owners are we?!? I know they are just dogs, but we just can't help but feel bad for leaving them with strangers that happen to perform surgery. Sorry dudes!

Now, on to revenge. Today our rattle-y friend came out of its hole for a snack and D happened to look outside just as the snake made his appearance. Not long before this, D had rigged up a little slip knot near the snake hole so it wouldn't easily get away before we could chop it up. After some quick but careful thought, D ditched the noose and got the ax.

Now, D has a gentle spirit so this was a little tough for him. I swore revenge after Felix was bitten and am happy to report that snakey is now in two pieces somewhere outside our fence. But D feels bad for killing him. Wish I could say the same. I spare spiders, non venomous snakes and even scorpions, but that rattlesnake just had to go. As D has the good back and good aim, he had to do the dirty work. Poor guy. If you don't like seeing snakes in two pieces don't scroll down. There is no blood or gore, but I want to give you fair warning.






Felix is avenged:


























If you look, you can see the snake kept moving for a while. Eww! Anyway, don't try this at home......unless you have a rattlesnake living under your house. Yep, that's our kitchen wall in the upper left corner. No, really.

Real Quick:

1. Felix got better the very next day, and the swelling was gone the day after.

2. According to Gerry, all plot synopses on the back of DVD packaging is wrong. Case in point: The Big Lebowski DVD refers to the dude's rug as a "carpet that made the room "hang together."" What the fuck?!

3. I recently found a leg hair that tied itself into a knot. It reminded me of a time that I dropped a nickel at Economy and it landed on its side.

4. Had dinner with Ben Barnes here in Albany. He showed an interest in M's future career. It was a fascinating evening.

Felix is doing better today. Yesterday wasn't fun staying up late with him to make sure he was going to make it. He is going to pull through and he is mostly back to normal, except for giant spuds mckenzie nose where the snake bit him. To illustrate:

Regular Felix

Felix as Ben Kingsley

As a cantankerous old geezer

Just looking really sad.

We've started both dogs on a rattlesnake vaccine. So we'll unclench our butts about letting them outside in about 3 months.

God help the rattlesnake living around the house (pictured in the March 7th post). It bit Felix on the nose tonight and no matter Felix's fate...that snake is living on borrowed time. Look out bitey. I'm coming.

Adj.

1.

cityfied - being or having the customs or manners or dress of a city person

Amen.

I guess I was feeling a little too comfortable in this rural situation. The universe needed to remind me that I'm a city girl.

Today, in a rush, I came home during a 30 minute lunch to give the dogs a mid-day break. This is usually D's job as he has a long lunch, but is currently out of town. Anyway I ran inside, kicked off my painful shoes and opened the door for the pups. I stayed inside to fix a quick lunch. Suddenly a flurry of barking drew me outside to find the dogs barking madly at a neighbor walking by. No biggie. Since I was shoeless, I had walked out into the yard by hopping from rock to rock laid out in a nice little path. I turned around to go back inside along my rocky path and looked down. This is what I saw.



I had just stepped directly over this lovely little Texas hazard. I froze, backed away out on the grass, grabbed the dogs and made a rather wide circular path back inside. Knowing my tendency to freak out, and not wanting to appear completely ignorant of snake types, (which I am) I immediately do a Google image search on rattlesnakes. Yep, I'd say that's a positive ID. To cover my bases I even checked out pictures of bull snakes just in case I was mistaken. I wasn't.

I then realized that it was time to return to work, but had just enough time to reach back out the door and snap that quick photo. Not bad for leaning way over and just hoping I'm pointing the camera in the right direction, no? Anyway rest assured, universe, I know my place. No more cute shoes out here. I've got my boots and I'll wear them with a dress if I have to.

By the way, this is now what I intend to keep just outside the back door.


All ax wielding maniacs are welcome to come by and try to chop us to bits with our own ax. Just mind the snakes.