I just can't seem to stay away from the show that takes 4 hours of my life every year. Of course, Jon Stewart hosting made the whole thing easier to swallow. Anyway, while watching the obligatory performances of nominated songs, I figured out the answer to an oft speculated conspiracy. Get ready......this is good.
Dolly Parton is Elvis.
Take a moment and let this sink in.
Mind-blowing, no? Many believe that Elvis is alive and in hiding. I just can't fathom that if Elvis is still alive that he's just laying low. What better way to stick around and maintain a music career than create an alter ego? I mean, Garth Brooks could have taken a few notes from Elvis in the mulit-persona arena. I mean what was up with that Chris guy anyway? Allow me to present a few points to ponder:
- Dolly just turned 60, Elvis would be 71 (pretty close, and he'd want to become someone younger to be able to stick around a little longer)
- Both are southern and proud of it.
- Both are talented performers. Now don't get me wrong, but they do both have an inexplicable, devoted, cultish following.
- Theme parks dedicated to both. I mean, there's no Bananarama Land, Or Depeche Mode Water Park.
- Both have slightly bizarre and definitely unique "looks".
- Elvis died in '77, just 2 or 3 years after Dolly started making occasional television appearances like Candid Camera.
- Elvis could have easily recorded Dolly's early music at Graceland with little outside help.
- Both starred in some memorable movies and some utterly forgettable ones. (OK, that's not exclusive to Dolly & Elvis.