P.S. to previous snake post:

You haven't lived until you pick up a dead snake with salad tongs and fling it over your fence at 6:30 in the morning while wearing a bathrobe. With a towel on your head. With no shoes.

Try it.

If anyone has been listening, reading, or (god forbid) watching the news, you may know that the administration has been likening itself to Winston Churchill and the terrorists to the Nazis, claiming that the US is fighting to stop a growing tide of Islamic fascism. In this story from NPR, Rumsfeld claims this in earnest.

An unusually decent editorial from Keith Olberman*, a talking head from TVland, sums up my outrage and disgust. Read it, because if you have become complacent and apathetic to the constant barrage of bullshit coming from the WH, this will whip you back into a froth just in time to get out and vote.

P.S. We did kill the snake that just recently bit Felix.

*and yes, I understand the irony of this contrasted with my parenthetical comment earlier

Just for fun.

Worst. Parents. Ever.

Well, we have a hunting dog. Since May 23rd, Felix has been bitten by a rattlesnake (in the damn yard) three times. 3! He must be hunting them every time we let him outside even for two minutes! Oscar seems to steer clear. Or maybe Felix is the bodyguard. (can you hear Whitney in the background?)

What is wrong with us? If they had pet protective services we'd be in big trouble. We'd have supervised visits with the dogs and would probably be demoted to taking care of house plants or sea monkeys. Look out aloe vera plants and pet fish, I'm incapable if taking care of a 15 pound dog. You're next!

Here's Felix last week after recovering from snake bite #2. Yes, last week.......

Notice his slim little nose.


















And this evening with his venom goiter and nice fat nose.
I think we will single-handedly breed the dog super flu with all the antibiotics that Felix has taken in the past two weeks.























Oh, and to any potential visiting friends or family.....we have only accidentally stumbled upon a rattlesnake once in over two years and it didn't even open it's eyes. So please don't think that Samuel L. Jackson lives here and battles snakes day in and day out. Felix just has a knack for finding them.

Remember when I posted those two pictures of Oscar and Felix sleeping in their bed to show how much they had grown in one month? Well, here are those pictures plus one recent photo. We are sure this time that they are done growing.

Jan 2006

Feb 2006

Today
I had to make them sit in their bed as you can see that they have obviously outgrown it.

As many of you out there in Tvland may know, those turds at UT finally caught on after nearly two years that I am no longer a student have shut down my e-mail address. It was my primary for 7 years and it was a conduit through which the trivial and inappropriate could safely find their way without the threat of jeopardizing my employment.

So what have we been doing since our last real post about Kinky Friedman, who continues to claim victory in poll after poll in Texas:

• Today, we heard the Johnny Cash version of "Hurt" by Nine Inch Nails in the grocery store today. For those who know us or have been to our local grocery store, it would be an understatement to say that it was surreal to hear that song. It is also the second time in 2 years that we have heard a decent song at the grocery store (The first was MacArthur Park)

• Stupid-ass Felix, seen below jumping for joy at hearing that Mars is bringing back the light brown M&M*, got bit by a second rattlesnake that was promptly run over by the ranch foreman the next day. This time was not nearly as scary as both dogs have been vaccinated for rattlesnake venom. He was fine after about 2 hours, back to his stupid self.

• My sister and Adam came to visit while M was in Chicago visiting her sister. I made crafts, we had some really bad mexican food (really bad), bought 36 Miller High-Lifes (which I just finished off this past week), and one of them ate my peanut butter cups. Both deny it, but one of them had to have eaten it. I know I didn't.

• Speaking of missing things, (if I didn't have a fish, then why did I have the bowl, Bart, why did I have the bowl?) I have been watching the 8th season of the Simpsons this week. Its a good season but there are parts that indicate the oncoming slow death of a show that went from beloved to unwatchable.

• This past week, I got another write up in the local weekly newspaper. Only here can you make it into a newspaper by doing your job.

• M took the GRE and did well, so this grad school thing is not beer talk, she is really going. So for all of you cheap motherfuckers** who complain that you shouldn't have to pay school taxes because they don't have kids, watch out, cause she'll get ya.
  

• After two years of living in the country, here is our tally of dangerous creatures that we have run across: 1 black widow spider, 3 brown recluse spiders, 5+ scorpions, and 3 rattlesnakes. However, this is mitigated by 3 road runners, a couple of horny toads, a tarantula, countless rabbits (jack and cottontail), horses, and cows, a llama, and one Mississippi Kite chick with its parents.
  

*In the words of the tax guy from that enduring 1990s Tostitos commercial: "No, not really."
**Yeah, I used AND spelled out the whole word. That's how strongly I feel.