The Pros and Cons of livin in the stix

About 2 months ago, the drain in our bathtub started to drain slowly. We didn't think much of it at the time because this sort of thing happens to people with hair. Gradually, it just kept getting worse until it came to a head this weekend when it stopped draining all together: "it stopped draining," they all said.

We had tried "Drain-Oh" earlier, but it didn't work and so I thought that is was just some massive clog that needed a roto-rooter. So we bought one, its called snake and really all it is is a flexible but strong metal cable. We got 15 feet of it down the drain without hitting the clog.

Some clog, eh!

So as a last ditch effort, we bought some heavy duty sulfuric acid-based (pardon the pun) drain cleaner.

Foul smelling, scary bubbling, visible vapors, and it was brown.

Megan just happen to be outside with the dogs when she saw a brown bubblin' brew and an impending environmental disaster.


This is the crack in the drain pipe where the water had been draining into our yard. I went online and read how to clean up the mess safely and went about shoveling up the contaminated mud, all whilst it hissed at me. Have you ever had mud hiss at you?!

So I called our neighbor and told him that I believe there was a crack in the drain pipe and he concurred and fixed it today. Today?! That would never ever happen in the city. In Austin, we'd have to call Stern Lecture plumbing or some such place and actually pay for someone to fix it.

----------

We got a snow day 2 weeks ago. Enjoy!

Are they holding hands out of mutual love, or fear?

A collage of the snow day.

Felix REALLY likes that guy from MythBusters.

One down one to go*

For the many of you who didn't know that the midterm elections weren't/aren't yet over, there was a runoff last night in TX-23 Congressional District. TX-23 which was gerrymandering in 2002 was found to violate the Voting Rights Act by diluting the Hispanic vote. Last night Democrat Ciro Rodriguez beat 7 term incumbent Republican Henry Bonilla. Bonilla was the only hispanic Republican in Congress and I was glad to return purity to the Great White Party, not to be confused with the Great White Party


*FL-13 is still up in the air after voting machine error or ballot layout error resulted in a loss of 18,000 votes in a race that was decided by less than 400 votes. And no, of course there is no paper trail for these machines.

I got nuthin'...or some ramblings*

Hello readers!

Its almost Christmas time and perhaps I will fill all of you out there in on what is in store for this household come the New Year.

A certain D of DM recently applied for a job in Austin, and for the first time in perhaps my entire life, I am really (perhaps stupidly) optimistic about this job prospect. I applied mid-november and will likely know for sure (post interview) around late-january, early february. It means all kinds a complicated shit if I do get what comes the closest to my "dream job." Complicated, but exciting. Complicated for instance in that we would need to find a house with a yard on a UT bus route. Since the content of the job would not likely excite anyone reading, the context is that I would work in the same building that M attends class. How badass would that be?

M should find out about grad school in late-february. She sent off her application materials last friday and is finally done with the application process.

*If this post feels somewhat halting and broken in its prose, that is because of a failed/sucessful experiment using V8 as the base for a bloody mary. Yes, Mom, I know its Monday.

Keeping the above in mind, I don't (necessarily) want to alienate our reader base (whatever that may be), but the dogs are grown and M doesn't want to dress them so I'm finding it harder to justify posts dedicated to them.

I told T of HN recently that I wanted to have less politics at the site, but stuff like this just can't be ignored, so I think that the blog will probably become less about the dogs over time and more about whatever kinda crap me or M want to post.

But not so fast....

This photo, courtesy of M is like a Gerry photo if he covered dog shows (which may happen if he doesn't watch his mouth).

I made the top %10!

Hey everyone. As many of you know, I was a full on Election 2006 political junkie. I really got into reading about the "hot" races and reading the polls daily. I even printed out a list of the races and put checks and minuses next to those that I thought would win and lose. On Election Night, I had both a blue and red Sharpe to mark the returns.

Two days before election night, I entered the Predict06 online pool as a member of Swing State Project and made my predictions. Some of you may remember that post.*

I didn't win the pool, but when I checked back today, they had posted a list of the top 50 best prognosticators in the Swing State Project pool. I came in 17th out of the 171 members! I came in 25th overall out of the 2313 who participated.




*If you have the stomach for it, you can visit the anonymous detractor who also left their predictions in the comments.

Happy Birthday Felix & Oscar!

Felix and Oscar are 1 today. They got extra hugs and chased around a moth. It doesn't get much better than that.

Oscar and Felix last Tuesday: Stalwarts of Democracy

For the Nature Lovers

Today, I did something that I've wanted to do since we moved here:


I hiked up the hill that majestically pokes outta the ground in back of our house. It looks far, but its not. It's also not a plateau as it appears. Its actually a ridge the rings another small valley. The day was perfect for hiking. 65, cold wind, and no snakes. Here is what it looks like from the top.


The arrow indicates where our house is. Click on it to see more clearly.


I also found some lovely brain poop, possibly a relative of brain corral.

One last political post before the big day

Besides the principle reasons that I don't vote republican, there are the dirty tricks that republicans employ that compel me to donate both time and money to the opposition party. (And no, the shit they pull in the link above is NOT something that both sides do, you cynic, you.)

For you political junkies out there, you can make your own predictions about the House and Senate races over at Swing State. I've made mine. The winner of this multiple person pool gets a free massage, some meth, and some inappropriate sexual conduct.

Also check out HN's recent post about Election Day.

Oh, and by the way, VOTE!

Take time to remember

This post is not about politics, snakes, or dogs. Its about a restaurant.

As first reported by KB, the Country Omelette burned down this morning. When I was a kid, a finicky kid, we'd have our occasional family breakfasts at the Country Omelette. If it was close enough to 11, I could get a hamburger. If not, pancakes. I would stack the jelly like most kids do, or I'd take a trip to the bathroom staring at all the white people (the most I'd ever see in any given week otherwise) and the large landscape photos of places in Europe used mostly to cover the walls than to advertise any particular place.

The Country Omelette was also where, after ordering a hamburger at 11am, I first heard the story of my parents first date. They met in Dallas. My dad, like many people loves breakfast, so he assumed my mom did too. He took her to what he says was one of the best places in Dallas for breakfast. They arrive at around 10am, and she orders...a hamburger.

The Country Omelette would probably be considered a dive if not for its huge windows in every booth. It had a bar, booths, and tables, a permanent salad bar with those mini-cereal boxes that seem only to exist in restaurants. It also had not changed since it opened in the late 1970s, hence it had brown shag carpet and fake wood paneling that had faded to a derby brown.

The best part though was that on our way out I could get an Andes Candy, which you could only get there and no where else, ever.

So, RIP to the Country Omelette of my childhood, I had only good memories of thee.

Some if not all of you out there in the tubes must have a similar family eatery that you remember from childhood, so take some time to remember and lets hear about it. You too lurkers!

Special Guest T from HN on Voting

Hello all, this is a cross post from from HN :

Voting

Are you registered to vote? Are you going to vote? Do you know where you can find out who is running in your district?

If you're not registered to vote, take 5 minutes out of your day today and fill out your voter registration card. It's ridiculously easy. You're too late to vote in the Nov 7th election, but you can vote in the next one!

If you're not going to vote, you're basically throwing away your one chance to change how things are done around your city, your county, your state, etc. Besides, if you don't vote, you can't complain about how shitty things are. And, man, things are shitty. Have you been paying attention?

If you want to find out who is running for office in your district, check out this website. Or this one. Make informed decisions in the voting booth. Your future depends on it.

So get to it, Gentle Readers! Woot!

brought to you by tiny robot on 10/25/2006

Good news, Bad news, you pick

While trolling the partisan blogs today, I came across the answer to a question that I have had in my mind for the past couple of years: Are Bush (personally) and his administration really fundamentalists? Do they really believe the words that come out of their mouths or the words they distribute in press releases?

Sadly (or happily?), the answer is what my parents have always cynically suspected: No.

According to a new book written by David Kuo, who was the number two guy at the Office of Faith Based initiatives, the Bush Administration has been using fundamentalist evangelical Christians for their vote much like you'd use a bludgeon to club a baby seal.

So both sides get their comeuppance and prove my parents right: The fundamentalists didn't get to turn their narrow view of morality into U.S. law (at least not on the federal level), the Administration is tagged as a bunch of phonies, and it becomes clear that their agenda really is to make as much money possible for themselves and their loyalists. Move over Ulysses S. Grant.

Katy Blogs

So you think you have too many blogs to read? Well too bad because here is one more to add. My sister has started a blog and though her updates are about as frequent as Midwest or BBQ, there they are. Some of you out there may have met my sister before. Some have not, but perhaps all have heard the oft told story of how she drove a bunch of drunken college students home from a party.

The party was at Midwest's old apartment and for some reason Katy was in town and for some other reason I took her to this party. Even though she was 15 and had a learners permit, we had no intention of letting her drive.

As the party progressed, someone, lets call her Margaret needed a ride home. I volunteered, but was told that I could not drive. M also decided she could not drive, so we volunteered Katy to drive. Why not?* Its legal, she has a learners permit, so the four of us along with Mel-a-rific and possibly someone else piled into the car and we were off. We let Margaret sit up front so she could direct....I confess this story is not as good as it should be as all I remember of the trip was the car lurching across 26th street into the left lane of a residential street as another likely drunk vehicle was coming at us in the proper lane. Scream, scream, scream and we were all sober. After dropping off Margaret (if that is her real name), M took over.

Truthfully, it was not Katy's fault that she so unprepared for the Austin streets at 15, but we still never let her forget it.

*Later it was revealed that Mel-a-rific had given Katy at least 2 beers sometime during the party.

The limited appeal post

For those librarians out there, our registrar turned me on to this novel way of presenting the book online. In this case, an auction catalog. I'll be forwarding this on to the listservs later.

Just for fun!

For the Simpsons Fans

This caught my eye as I was looking for an obituary for a patron. Enjoy.


Ol' Grimey was older then I thought.

Back to our roots.....dog pictures!



































But we can't let the snake thing go entirely! Earlier this week, D found an impressive snake skin in our yard.









We admired it, identified it in a handy snake book (purchased once we moved out here) and then threw it to the dogs. They love weird smelling shit. I tried to get a close shot of Oscar with some skin hanging from his mouth, but just as I snapped the picture, he went after a moth that flew by. Cute, huh?





















And just for fun, here are a few pics from our trek to ACL two weeks ago. It was less hot this year, but somehow way more brutal. We had a great time, though.


















































As we surveyed the two large parking lots filled with overflowing bikeracks at ACL, D sighed and said "Only in Austin." We're coming back, Austin! We promise!

You too can be politically savvy, or get yelled at

At the risk of this blog becoming more political and less dog, I offer up the following:

First, If you are a non-republican of any stripe and are at all interested in the coming mid-term elections but you just don't want to wade through all of the bullshit to get at the information, some nut has put together Electoral Vote.com, a non-partisan (as far as I can tell) website that breaks down every contested senate and house race. There is polling data for each race and for the most part, the polls are very encouraging. For those of us in Texas, we can at least live vicariously through other states, such as Pennsylvania who will soon have a new Senator.

Second, if you have a fast internet connection, you dislike Fox News, you disliked Path to 9/11 so much you didn't watch it, you love (or at least miss) Bill Clinton, and your tired of seeing politicians give lame answers to stupid questions, enjoy this two part interview:

Stephen Colbert will die soon

Perhaps you all have heard of Stephen Colbert's gig at the White House Press Corps Dinner thingy, I know that I had, but I realized that it may be on youtube.

I have never seen anyone with a bigger set of balls than Colbert. Its so scary to watch, yet you can't turn away. Its like his show but in front of the people he makes fun of in his show. Its brutal, he even makes fun of the reporters in the audience. Its actual real satire. If you have a fast connection, you should watch.

I sincerely hope that Ann Richards got to see this before she died. RIP the real tough grandma.

No way......

The Crocodile Hunter died!

OK, D and I are currently debating the surprise factor of this bizarre piece of news. I'm honestly a little surprised and he's.....not. Not even a tiny bit.

I guess I just thought that this guy has done crazy stunts for so long and built an entire empire around his wacky ways that he was really being more careful than it seemed. The man is a father! Was I sucked in by the sur-reality of TV? Though I only saw this guy when I accidentally stumbled upon his show, I always got the impression that it was as much a nature show as an act. I mean there is so little authenticity in TV that I had no reason to think otherwise, right? It always seemed so put on and over the top that it never occurred to me that this guy was really just betting on the idea that a thick layer of stupidity provides some sort of protection from the laws of nature. (I suppose that's possible, seeing as Bush not only survived childhood, he lived to graduate college! Darwin be damned!)

Anyway, I just thought I'd throw that out there. Am I alone in my rose-colored view of TV? Has grim reality finally taken over, leaving behind that childhood revelation that the blood on screen was only red goo?

Just for fun.

P.S. to previous snake post:

You haven't lived until you pick up a dead snake with salad tongs and fling it over your fence at 6:30 in the morning while wearing a bathrobe. With a towel on your head. With no shoes.

Try it.

If anyone has been listening, reading, or (god forbid) watching the news, you may know that the administration has been likening itself to Winston Churchill and the terrorists to the Nazis, claiming that the US is fighting to stop a growing tide of Islamic fascism. In this story from NPR, Rumsfeld claims this in earnest.

An unusually decent editorial from Keith Olberman*, a talking head from TVland, sums up my outrage and disgust. Read it, because if you have become complacent and apathetic to the constant barrage of bullshit coming from the WH, this will whip you back into a froth just in time to get out and vote.

P.S. We did kill the snake that just recently bit Felix.

*and yes, I understand the irony of this contrasted with my parenthetical comment earlier

Just for fun.

Worst. Parents. Ever.

Well, we have a hunting dog. Since May 23rd, Felix has been bitten by a rattlesnake (in the damn yard) three times. 3! He must be hunting them every time we let him outside even for two minutes! Oscar seems to steer clear. Or maybe Felix is the bodyguard. (can you hear Whitney in the background?)

What is wrong with us? If they had pet protective services we'd be in big trouble. We'd have supervised visits with the dogs and would probably be demoted to taking care of house plants or sea monkeys. Look out aloe vera plants and pet fish, I'm incapable if taking care of a 15 pound dog. You're next!

Here's Felix last week after recovering from snake bite #2. Yes, last week.......

Notice his slim little nose.


















And this evening with his venom goiter and nice fat nose.
I think we will single-handedly breed the dog super flu with all the antibiotics that Felix has taken in the past two weeks.























Oh, and to any potential visiting friends or family.....we have only accidentally stumbled upon a rattlesnake once in over two years and it didn't even open it's eyes. So please don't think that Samuel L. Jackson lives here and battles snakes day in and day out. Felix just has a knack for finding them.

Remember when I posted those two pictures of Oscar and Felix sleeping in their bed to show how much they had grown in one month? Well, here are those pictures plus one recent photo. We are sure this time that they are done growing.

Jan 2006

Feb 2006

Today
I had to make them sit in their bed as you can see that they have obviously outgrown it.

As many of you out there in Tvland may know, those turds at UT finally caught on after nearly two years that I am no longer a student have shut down my e-mail address. It was my primary for 7 years and it was a conduit through which the trivial and inappropriate could safely find their way without the threat of jeopardizing my employment.

So what have we been doing since our last real post about Kinky Friedman, who continues to claim victory in poll after poll in Texas:

• Today, we heard the Johnny Cash version of "Hurt" by Nine Inch Nails in the grocery store today. For those who know us or have been to our local grocery store, it would be an understatement to say that it was surreal to hear that song. It is also the second time in 2 years that we have heard a decent song at the grocery store (The first was MacArthur Park)

• Stupid-ass Felix, seen below jumping for joy at hearing that Mars is bringing back the light brown M&M*, got bit by a second rattlesnake that was promptly run over by the ranch foreman the next day. This time was not nearly as scary as both dogs have been vaccinated for rattlesnake venom. He was fine after about 2 hours, back to his stupid self.

• My sister and Adam came to visit while M was in Chicago visiting her sister. I made crafts, we had some really bad mexican food (really bad), bought 36 Miller High-Lifes (which I just finished off this past week), and one of them ate my peanut butter cups. Both deny it, but one of them had to have eaten it. I know I didn't.

• Speaking of missing things, (if I didn't have a fish, then why did I have the bowl, Bart, why did I have the bowl?) I have been watching the 8th season of the Simpsons this week. Its a good season but there are parts that indicate the oncoming slow death of a show that went from beloved to unwatchable.

• This past week, I got another write up in the local weekly newspaper. Only here can you make it into a newspaper by doing your job.

• M took the GRE and did well, so this grad school thing is not beer talk, she is really going. So for all of you cheap motherfuckers** who complain that you shouldn't have to pay school taxes because they don't have kids, watch out, cause she'll get ya.
  

• After two years of living in the country, here is our tally of dangerous creatures that we have run across: 1 black widow spider, 3 brown recluse spiders, 5+ scorpions, and 3 rattlesnakes. However, this is mitigated by 3 road runners, a couple of horny toads, a tarantula, countless rabbits (jack and cottontail), horses, and cows, a llama, and one Mississippi Kite chick with its parents.
  

*In the words of the tax guy from that enduring 1990s Tostitos commercial: "No, not really."
**Yeah, I used AND spelled out the whole word. That's how strongly I feel.

For the first time ever Texas Monthly has inspired me to spend money on something. I ran across a short story about this place west of austin that does zip line canopy tours. I absoltely want to go, so if anyone has $60 that they can spare (and aren't going to spend on beer, cigarettes, grass, shoes, admission to movie theatres, restaurants, prostitutes, or beer), lets make a date.
www.cypressvalleycanopytours.com

Growing up I had heard my dad refer to an avacado as ahuacate and though I assumed it was spanish, it was not, nor did I give much thought to the meaning of ahuacate. I think Hermes Neuticles would appreciate this NPR story.

BTW, R.I.P. S-K

Dare

I saw this website mentioned in a magazine the other day and had to check it out.

http://www.buttsacrossamerica.com/

Here and now I promise to buy dinner for anyone of our loyal readers that contributes a picture to this site. (random visitors to this blog excluded) I noticed that Texas is sadly underrepresented and Austin is not represented at all!

Good luck and happy mooning!

M

Hello gentle readers

We just got back from vacation and we should post about South Padre Island, the World Cup, the Gladys Porter Zoo, our anniversary, but none of that is nearly as interesting as our adventures over the past two days.

Yesterday, my boss handed me a clipping from the newspaper about a certain gubernatorial candidate making a stop in Abilene.



As expected the Jewish cowboy attracted an eclectic group of 50 or so people, everyone of whom was wondering why the person next to them lived in Abilene. We were the only delegates from our small county.

I felt compelled to buy something so he'd have something to sign. I bought Roadkill, but if Adam hadn't of asked for it back I would have had When the Cats away on hand.

M also bought some salsa.

Note by M:
I've met the man and I still have NO IDEA for whom I should vote in a few short months. I am excited though that for once I won't be voting against a particularly bad candidate...I can actually vote for a good one! I just don't know who that is yet.

Today, M came with me and my boss to Granbury on business. It was my first on location archival survey. It was also DM's first trip on one of these.


As you can see, we had a great time in this 4-seater despite it being smaller than a suburban.


We had to wear those headsets to talk to each other. The ride home was in a different plane that allegedly had air conditioning. We had to ride sitting backward this time and because of afternoon heat columns, I nearly lost my lunch, though I maintained my manly composure.

Note by M:
I kept an eye out for telltale piles of dirt near the airplane hangers, but it looks like the Night Flier hasn't recently visited the Metroplex or its surrounding areas.

For those interested in our vacation (Mom), we took a trip down to South Padre Island where the waves were lame compared to last year's hurricane Emily steroid charged waves. We watched a lot of World Cup and really got into it, well the guys got into it. The girls were watching the games through pornographic lenses (M doesn't dig soccer players the way a fellow female watcher did). I wasn't really pulling for any particular team, but it was really exciting when someone scored. My zeal for World Cup took me far beyond the vacation all the way to the headbutt heard 'round the world.

We also went to the Zoo for the benefit of my 3 year old nephew, who thankfully, is well behaved. Since the Valley's climate is quite similar to that of most tropical and African animals, the Gladys Porter Zoo is, in my opinion, one of the best zoos. The animals rarely have to be caged due to weather so there is the maximum of space used for a realistic habitat. Our nephew mostly liked the snakes. I liked this biotch.

Kinda reminds me of Contra. (And yes, those are its phosphorescent young writhing on its back.)

For our anniversary, we got to spend a quiet evening alone at a nice restaurant followed by fireworks...no not those kind, we had to share our room...and the walls were thin. I could hear my dad snoring through the walls in the condo next door. But seriously, its been 5 years! Some of you were there, some of you (well one) were not yet born, and thankfully none of you are now deed!

M note:
According to the book How to Lie With Statistics we have lasted longer than half the newlywed population. Now if only we could update our blog more often!

Rain, Sun, and Pikachu.

I had heard that there was a botanical garden within reasonable driving distance for us, so this Saturday we packed up the dogs and paid the Clark Botanical Gardens a visit. This was the first time we'd taken the dogs anywhere out in public with the exception of the PetSmart doggy training classes.

Oscar and Felix did remarkably well, especially since the place was practically deserted. There were however some guinea hens and a large white peacock that kept taunting them, saying "come and get us Felix, come and get us Oscar, the best part's in the rump."

The 35 acre garden was pretty amazing for what is supposed to be the west texas wasteland. We took only a few choice, highly scripted, photos.

This was under a waterfall, but the extremes of light and dark confused the camera.

We didn't get any plant-life photos, but if you like that kinda stuff, archivists can do more than just archive.

That night there was a really fun storm that came in. The rain was horizontal, the wind knocked stuff over, and we got to see lightning strike just yards from our front door. The bolt was pink.

While searching for hors d'oeuvre recipes online, we stumbled upon Pikachu Hors d'oeuvres. The page is set up as a delightful little satire of a scientific journal article and it was just too strange not to share.

Not so scary after all, and yet so much scarier.

So I was sitting on the floor sorting laundry and Oscar trots up to climb over the clothes and find the perfect spot in my lap. I take a second glance at him and have a horrible moment of deja vu. His mouth is swollen on one side. Something bit him. DAMN! We just killed that snake the other day, don't tell me there's another one and we have to go through this again! Well after a more thorough investigation, I realize there are no holes in has face and he seems fine. Whew.

This got me thinking, though. This is exactly the stuff I used to be so scared of when thinking about adulthood and responsibility and all that crap. I think I've learned more living out here in the sticks than I realized. For a long time I was really scared of the thought of owning a house. Apartment living was so nice in that someone else always had to fix the broken fridge or air conditioner or kill the bugs. This house (though we rent it) has given us a little practice. We have fixed some of the stuff around here ourselves and it really wasn't a big deal. I even installed a toilet tank on my own! (this is M talking, I once broke a toe just walking past my bed....I'm not so handy) Anyway, I figured that if we can handle fixing problems in a house so old that no knows its age, there's not really that much to worry about. It only took 27 years to come to this realization!

But it also gets really scary when I think about things that are a little more important than tile or faucets. The puppies are our next step on the long road to kids and it may sound stupid, but they are giving us a little practice. After deciding that Oscar was probably OK, all I could think was "I'm so glad we don't have to go through that again." And it wasn't the interruption of a favorite TV show, or the expense that so vividly rushed back from my memory. It was the worry and fear that stayed with me. I wasn't ready to lose a dog I'd only known for six months. Jeez, we sure get attached quickly! It turns out the scary stuff comes wrapped in a cute little creature. It's not the daily things like house training or making sure there's enough dog food that is hard. It turns out the hard part of responsibility is worry, panic, regret (I should have killed that damn snake months ago when I had a chance) and being able to take a step back when you know something could go really wrong. Man, that's big. And these are dogs, not kids! I think I'll take another 27 years to think about this some more.

Basketball and Revenge
(a slightly disturbing image (only to people nicer than me) appears at the end of this post)

Way back in the dogblog beginning, we wrote about bringing the puppies home and watching the Rose Bowl game a few short days later. All of D's Rose Bowl inspired jumping and yelling (if you saw the game no explanation is needed) really freaked out the puppies. They didn't have much run of the house at that time, so they did their best to hide from him. Well, I fear they may have had flashbacks recently. This was their solution to D's jumping and yelling during the NBA playoffs:




I was happy to provide a safe, if incidental, haven for them. Since school's been out for a week and a half now, I've spent more time sitting in that chair and the dogs seem quite happy to camp out under the desk whenever I sit down. Can you guess where they are right now? It's so nice to have a warm fuzzy little body warm your feet in the winter, but the temperature has recently passed 100 degrees for several days in a row. Please guys....no foot warming is necessary! No I already feel bad for complaining. They are very sweet little dogs.

What makes me feel even more guilty is our upcoming trip to South Padre. There are no dogs allowed in the house we are occupying at the beach. Yesterday D and I checked out our vet's boarding situation and set up the dreaded neutering. Their first boarding experience will include the chopping off of balls! What kind of pet owners are we?!? I know they are just dogs, but we just can't help but feel bad for leaving them with strangers that happen to perform surgery. Sorry dudes!

Now, on to revenge. Today our rattle-y friend came out of its hole for a snack and D happened to look outside just as the snake made his appearance. Not long before this, D had rigged up a little slip knot near the snake hole so it wouldn't easily get away before we could chop it up. After some quick but careful thought, D ditched the noose and got the ax.

Now, D has a gentle spirit so this was a little tough for him. I swore revenge after Felix was bitten and am happy to report that snakey is now in two pieces somewhere outside our fence. But D feels bad for killing him. Wish I could say the same. I spare spiders, non venomous snakes and even scorpions, but that rattlesnake just had to go. As D has the good back and good aim, he had to do the dirty work. Poor guy. If you don't like seeing snakes in two pieces don't scroll down. There is no blood or gore, but I want to give you fair warning.






Felix is avenged:


























If you look, you can see the snake kept moving for a while. Eww! Anyway, don't try this at home......unless you have a rattlesnake living under your house. Yep, that's our kitchen wall in the upper left corner. No, really.

Real Quick:

1. Felix got better the very next day, and the swelling was gone the day after.

2. According to Gerry, all plot synopses on the back of DVD packaging is wrong. Case in point: The Big Lebowski DVD refers to the dude's rug as a "carpet that made the room "hang together."" What the fuck?!

3. I recently found a leg hair that tied itself into a knot. It reminded me of a time that I dropped a nickel at Economy and it landed on its side.

4. Had dinner with Ben Barnes here in Albany. He showed an interest in M's future career. It was a fascinating evening.

Felix is doing better today. Yesterday wasn't fun staying up late with him to make sure he was going to make it. He is going to pull through and he is mostly back to normal, except for giant spuds mckenzie nose where the snake bit him. To illustrate:

Regular Felix

Felix as Ben Kingsley

As a cantankerous old geezer

Just looking really sad.

We've started both dogs on a rattlesnake vaccine. So we'll unclench our butts about letting them outside in about 3 months.

God help the rattlesnake living around the house (pictured in the March 7th post). It bit Felix on the nose tonight and no matter Felix's fate...that snake is living on borrowed time. Look out bitey. I'm coming.

Last week M was out of town in Austin recuperating from her surgery. I was back in Albany stone sober (no really!) the whole week. It was kinda fun. I got a lot of practice on the drums, worked on my little art project (4 years and counting), and played with the dogs.

On Saturday, I went to pick M up and as we were driving through Cisco we noticed something that we had never noticed before. See below.



We arrogantly thought that we were the first ones ever to get that joke but we couldn't have been because the warehouse was empty and the fragrant scent of recently dried latex, vinyl, and pleather had long dissipated replaced by other business endeavors of equally bad taste. Cisco is the town where there is a dollar general across the street (an actual street, four lanes, with a median, not a highway, no embankment on either side, no canals, no zombie turkeys) from family dollar (we did not get a picture. no free advertising for them).

Later, however, the aliens came back and opened the store, injecting a fresh supply of bondage equipment and other education toys. (for those recommended to this site by M, sorry I have to please a diverse audience.)



In dog related news, we recently had the dogs prove a natural phenomenon to us. Everyone know that you can scare the blood out of a horned toad, in fact, out of its eyes. And though Texas Monthly beat us to the punch confirming this seemingly impossible myth, it is true. Felix and Oscar cornered a poor endangered horned toad and it shot'em up good with blood. Got Oscar right in the eye. This really pissed them off and they clawed at it mercilessly while barking at it. "Hey!," they'd say over and over. But the toad was perfectly fine if not freaked out. I was too pissed off at the dogs to take any pictures. Sorry. I just didn't understand how they could attack an endangered species.

We'll get pictures of the next thing they attack, promise.*

Before I go, here is one picture to scare you and another illustrating the generosity of Albany.

The teachers all donated goodies to keep M fed and her mind busy after her surgery. If any are reading this and aren't totally offended by the above...Thank You.

*Promise not valid in Missouri or France.

A Two-Prong Attack

The saga continues. D and I decided to take matters into our own hands this weekend, so with a storm rolling in we hurriedly gathered our weapons.






















While trying to minimize the environmental impact (this is a working ranch after all) we knew we had to act fast. Since bugs don't react well to soap we thought it might work just as well as expensive cans of poison. After preparing an arsenal of soapy water balloons, D got to work on preparing the field of battle.














































The stage was set for our no holds barred assault.






































D even came at them from another angle just to up our odds.

















Though the water balloon contingent suffered many losses, we felt the assault was not only necessary, but effective.




























(This is in no way an advertisement for Dish Network. They are worth about as much as the balloon carnage you see before you. And they are far less fun to deal with than bees.)

This was but just one prong of our attack. As fun as this prong was, it alone would not suffice. We had to attack from two sides to ensure victory.





















We raided the BBQ aisle of the local grocery store. Though a duralog would have been best, we made due with lighter fluid, mesquite chips and strike-a-fire starters.

The final step was to sweep up the bee carnage and hope for the best.







The fire has been going for the better part of the weekend and only once have we heard the telltale buzzing from the chimney. I think this qualifies as blitzkrieg. Guess that German heritage in me came in handy. Die bastards.