Saturday, December 10, 2005

Holy Mastercard, Batman!

So D and I went puppy shopping today. Nobody told us dogs cost money!! When did this happen? I know that big pet stores run a racket, but damn.
Warning: If we haven't already bought you a present, you'll have to wait a few years.
No really, I think we're finally realizing what we're getting ourselves into here.
  • Replace cute leather boots destroyed by dog: $90
  • Deposit on rental house never to be refunded: $500
  • Vet bills for shots, neutering, various diseases: $200,000
  • Years with 2 little friends to play with after a hard day.........AACK! Sorry, back to the real world.
Whew, we need to watch less TV!

Anyway, we tried not to go overboard with toys and treats and stuff like that. And until they grow, they'll be sharing most of their stuff. I have to admit, it was fun to pick everything out. It's pretty funny to walk around a pet store and realize that everything is marketed to people, with little or no thought given to the animal. D found tons of examples of things that wouldn't matter one bit to even the most spoiled rotten dog, but look cute or feel soft to the buyer. For example: We found bottles of BBQ sauce for dogs and dog beds lined on faux fur. No really, we actually did. Maybe, we're in the wrong business! (This statement is also often said by people planning a wedding.)

All complaining aside, neither of us can wait until they get to come home for good. It's probably a good thing that we are doing all the house training and all that stuff here in A-town, when we don't exactly have a lot on the social calendar. I hope we don't become those crazy dog people that talk about their dogs like other people talk about their kids. Hell, I don't want to talk about my kids like that either!
"Did I tell you what (insert horrible popular name here) did yesterday?"
"No! Did I tell you what (second hard to spell name) said to me this morning?"
"Me first!"
"No, my kid was accepted to Harvard 16 years early!"
"Well mine can speak three languages and isn't even out of diapers!"
Etc, etc, etc.

If we ever force horribly boring dog stories on you, just kick one of us in the shins and run away. We'll get the hint. I hope.


tiny robot said...

Indeed. Petco is not the "place for pets" but in fact the place for suckers.

I, my friends, am one of those suckers. I know what you're facing. I've spent many a dollar on flashy cat toys, 'scientific' diet cat food, and fashionable kitty carriers. What I now know is that cats don't care what they bat around and lodge under the china cabinet, it could be a bit of foil balled up. They will eat enough 'diet' cat food to gain significant amounts of weight. And, let's be honest here, for a trip to the vet, a pillowcase works just as well as a Mittens 9000 Deluxe cat carrier with side snack pouch.

I still love my pets and would do anything for them, but I won't do that. No, I won't do that.

Dr. Harleen Quinzel said...

Ah, well, at least two of your friends may be able to help you out with that...just wait for Christmas...we have plans for you... WAHAHAHAHA!

Anonymous said...

Don't worry guys. But if they are indeed male, make sure that they masterbate everyday. When the surgeon general says that is healthy for male children to do his thing, Mr. General isnt just applying that to humans. You've seen Van wilder. So treat your pet right, and make sure it stays healthy ;) -Rick

baby guanaco said...

um, i hate to be the asshole (though this is the unavoidably the nature of grass-chomping camelids) but, have you realized that the fact that you have blog pretty much dedicated to talking about your dogs to your friends and whoever else might be browsing through kinda already makes you "one of those people"?--who talk about your pets, maybe not all of the time, but a darn lot. on the other side of this, i say, "so what!" because there's absolutely nothing wrong with talking about something that you love all the time, whether that be pets, kids, or certain tiny robots of sorts. god forbid we become people who only talk about things they don't like, all the time.